


Daddy Issues

by JasnNCarly



Category: General Hospital
Genre: F/M, Love Triangle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-20
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-02-26 17:04:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 21,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23539597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JasnNCarly/pseuds/JasnNCarly
Summary: Kristina returns to Port Charles and the town takes notice.
Relationships: Kristina Davis/Ethan Lovett, Kristina Davis/Johnny Zacchara
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I messed with the timeline to support what I did with this story; it is slightly AR. In this fic, for clarification, Kristina is 21; Ethan is 29; and Johnny is 31.

As she made her way towards the church entrance, she could hear whispers of the current residents of Port Charles.  
  
**_“I can’t believe she came back…”  
  
“I can’t believe she’d wear something like that to a funeral…”  
  
“What she must be going through…”  
  
“I wonder if she’ll actually stick around or just long enough to hear his will being read…”  
  
“The family is really going to need her…”_**  
  
Closing the doors behind her, she smoothed the black material of her form fitting dress and questioned her own decisions. Did she really have to be here for this? Honoring a man she could not respect and loved out of obligation? Had her dress really been this tight and short back at the hotel room?  
  
_Get it together, Kristina._  
  
She adjusted the black pillbox hat upon her head, trying to conceal her face a little more with the veil, and made her way through the foyer into the sanctuary.  
  
Kneeling slightly, Kristina bowed her head and made the sign of the cross before venturing towards the front. The moment she found herself standing before his large photograph, framed with flowers, her heels felt as though they were submerged in quick sand.  
  
In absolute disgust, she stared towards him and shook her head. _We should be celebrating your death, not mourning. You can’t hurt anyone anymore_.  
  
“Kristina?”  
  
She switched on upon hearing the familiar, timid voice, “Molly?”  
  
Her little sister ran into her welcome arms, sobbing the moment she was within her embrace.  
  
Kristina secured her against her chest, meeting her mother’s eyes, “Mom?”  
  
“Hi, honey.”  
  
Alexis smiled through tears, doing the thing she always did – tried to make it as though everything would be okay even though she herself were hurting. Though her daughters loved this attempt, they hated her for it just as well.  
  
“I can’t believe he’s gone. I’m so sorry to you. To Morgan. To Michael.”  
  
_I didn’t give a damn about Sonny Corinthos._ She bit the tip of her tongue to prevent herself from uttering one word of the thought, stepping back from her sister and wiping away her tears, “We’re gonna get through this. Together. Me, you, Morgan, and Michael, okay?”  
  
“But Michael, he—“  
  
Kristina bowed her head, preparing for the rant though there was no need. She had read the PC papers and knew how Michael was acting out. Sure, he would take over the business – he made it no secret he planned to avenge his father’s death.  
  
There was only one suspect, Johnny Zacchara.  
  
_If only he knew._ Kristina tried not cringe at the thought, knowing she had gained many secrets while away from Port Charles and one of them had a lot to do with the family enemy.  
  
“Well, the service will be starting soon.” Alexis, the picture of order among chaos, ushered her girls towards one of the front pews, “Let’s take our seats.”  
  
~*~  
  
Kristina could not keep her eyes focused on anything; instead she found her sight was sailing behind her veil – observing every hypocritical spectator attending this joke of a service.  
  
One by one, she found herself questioning their motives and nerve for being there.  
  
Dante, with Lulu, sat in the very back. His long, lost son who had grown into a decent human being only because he had nothing to do with the Corinthos name. _Why did he even come? Maybe he’s just happy to finally have what he’s wanted all along_.  
  
When finding Robin in the crowd, she felt envious. There was a woman, sobbing in true loss, as though Sonny had been her father. _That’s how I should feel_.  
  
Then, there was Michael and Morgan. Two young men, total opposites, and each desperate to have Sonny still with them – yet refusing to show it. Especially Michael, who was so easily consumed by the fire within him. _Don’t make mistakes because of him, Mike. It isn’t worth it_.  
  
Next to them, as though they were the only ones who could comfort her brothers, Jason held Carly the way he should have held Sam.  
  
The two of them had used this situation as yet another opportunity to just fall together; how anybody could respect them for being together after all this time, after what had happened with Sam burned Kristina in the worst way. _They deserve each other. He was never good enough for her_.  
  
With the thought of her older sister, the obvious ulterior motives of the attendees, the hatred she felt for her father, Kristina was on overload.  
  
Standing to her feet, she rushed out of the church as quick as she could and ignored any gasps or calls after her.  
  
_Gotta get out. Gotta go._  
  
It was only when the hot, summer air hit her that she began to breathe again.  
  
Why had she come back? Why didn’t she find a way to stay away? It would have been easier, bearable.  
  
Her eyes flew shut, her lungs pulling air in as rapidly as possible and clawing at her throat in the process. Against all her demands, the tears slithered out from beneath her lids and tickled her cheeks as they made their way to the ground.  
  
The world was spinning out of control, reminding her why she hated Port Charles and everyone within city limits. Struggling to find a next move, she held her hand to her stomach and tried to choke back the urge to be sick.  
  
And it was then that the soft whisper of a car’s arrival caught her attention.  
  
Standing straight, she watched as the limo parked.  
  
The driver got out, saying not one word, and stepped around to passenger’s side of the car, opening the back door. Continuing to remain silent, he stood straight and waited for her to approach.  
  
Kristina rolled her eyes, knowing exactly who it was and what he wanted.  
  
_Make sure you’re not followed._ It was a rule she knew well and abided by.  
  
After a glance back at the closed doors, she stomped towards the limo and got into the backseat. She did not have to look at him once to confirm her suspicions because she knew him, knew exactly how he did business.  
  
The driver shut the door once she was secure inside.  
  
Crossing her arms, she stared out the tinted window at the church and made only one request, “We need to leave. My brothers and sister will not deal well with you being here, Johnny.”  
  
“It’s always good to see you too, Kristina.”


	2. Chapter 2

Once the church was no longer visible, her breathing became more even - especially as she sat silently in the back of the limo, observing the changes of the city.  
  
It had a clear division as the Zacchara name appeared subtlety on many of the ‘new’ businesses in town, and the Corinthos name seemed to be visible on less and less.  
  
Clubs, restaurants, and new people cluttered the town around with a bold reminder that her departure from town was just in time – just before the trouble had gotten completely out of control.  
  
_As if anything could be worse than what happened to Sam.  
  
{Time.  
It's never worth my time.  
Moonshine  
Bleeds into my eyes.  
  
I still  
Sleep on the right side  
Of the white noise;  
Can't leave the scene behind.  
  
Could I be anything you want me to be  
If so, is it meant to be seen?}_  
  
Involuntarily, she released a shaky breath at the thought and forced tears back down to the pit of her stomach. Her eyes wandered, searching for a distraction, only to find Johnny’s eyes traveling from her heels up her thighs to rest there.  
  
_Not the distraction I need right now._  
  
Clearing her throat, she tugged at the hem of her dress – aware it would not budge at her efforts.  
  
“Leave it to you to arrive at a funeral like that.”  
  
“Like what?”  
  
“Like a test to the priest, a distraction from every word he lives by.”  
  
As he spoke, Kristina took her time to observe the slight smile always sitting on the edge of his confident lips. His tongue’s smooth caress of that same beautiful mouth offered a hint of sweetness every time it prevented his words from being even somewhat dry. Eventually, his company would have no choice but to fall for the hypnotic flickering embers dancing in his dark eyes – the same embers which told every woman remotely interested in him to run for her life because he was nothing but trouble; the same embers which kept every woman intrigued by flames which would no doubt scar them permanently.  
  
But she knew him, understood the game and how to break the rules just enough to switch the tide.  
  
Removing the hat from her head, Kristina lingered her fingertips along her long dark mane and played with the visible softness. A smile spread across her glossy pink lips as her ebony eyes sailed back to his, easily reeling in his attention, “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Zacchara.”  
  
Unfortunately, he knew her tactics as well and forced himself away from full capture, “Whatever you say, Ms. Davis.”  
  
_{Do you see yourself in a crowded room?  
Do you think I'll snitch? Are you pistol-whipped?  
Do you step in line, or release the glitch?  
Can you fall asleep when I panic switch?  
  
When you see yourself in a crowded room,  
Do you think I'll snitch? Are you pistol whipped?  
Will you step in line or release this glitch?  
Do you think she'll sleep with the panic? }_  
  
“Can I ask you what you were thinking by showing up at my father’s service?”  
  
“You can ask me anything you want. I’m not going to lie to you.”  
  
As much as she should hate and distrust him, Kristina was well aware he meant what he said. If she asked him, he would tell her the truth – unashamed and eerily calm.  
  
Straightening his suit jacket, he turned his attention back to her, “You know why I came.”  
  
“Me? I’m such a big deal that you had to make such a grand entrance?”  
  
“Oh, come on, Kristina. I waited for you. I didn’t go in and fake sympathy for your bastard of a father.”  
  
“I’d assume not since you killed him.”  
  
“Ah, I see you’ve convicted me as quick as the rest of your father’s organization.”  
  
“Are you trying to tell me you had nothing to do with it?”  
  
“I’m telling you that you’re not asking a question. Therefore, you’re not getting an answer.” He paused, reaching over to gently brush hair away from the apple of her cheek, “Do you really want to know?” Rather than allow her the opportunity to answer, Johnny signaled for the driver to stop the car. He presented the whisper of a smile, extending his hand, “You look like you could use a drink.”  
  
As the driver opened the door, Kristina gave easily into the invitation and placed her delicate hand within the rough confines of his.  
  
_{And I'll try  
to hold on tight tonight.  
Pink slip, inviting me inside.  
I want to burn skin  
and brand what once was mine,  
But the red news came ripping in to fight.  
  
If I go anywhere that you want me to go,  
How will I know you'll still follow?}_  
  
Again, her senses were swimming in overload as she followed him into the dim lit club. Though a quick glance outside had assured her the back alley was empty, she still found herself rethinking each step her heels took. If anyone found her with him, if anyone knew about her past, she was as good as dead to her family. The aggravation was unnecessary.  
  
But he had been like a breath of much needed air when showing up; now, he furthered his value to her by offering a warm escape. They had made it out of the back area and into the main area of the club, allowing her the full vision of what was Johnny’s latest endeavor in Port Charles – big and extravagant, no doubt the shot of energy the town needed, far from the traditional blues of the past.  
  
Releasing his hand and a long sigh, she sauntered to the middle of the dance floor and took in her surroundings. While she could feel his eyes crawling along her skin, she ignored it and drowned in the ‘newness’. Here was something unfamiliar to her, untainted to her in the city – a welcome get away with a long forgotten home.  
  
She heard the glasses hit the counter somewhere behind her, yet she ignored it as she closed her eyes. In doing so, she traveled far away from everything painful and drowned in memories of thoughtless actions – in memories of carelessness and welcome self destruction – memories of men and music.  
  
“You know you’re free to come here any time. Do…whatever you want.”  
  
The sound of his voice, the flirtation dripping from his buttery tone, had grounded her enough to return comfortably to reality. Whipping around with a grin, she approached the counter and threw back a shot.  
  
Johnny’s eyes were glued to her as the elixir went down her throat, and the glass slid back to him.  
  
With the smack of her lips, she swung her hips and took a seat before him. As he poured the second shot, she threw one leg over the other and batted her thick lashes, “All I want to do…” She ran her fingertips like spider’s legs towards the refill, trailing off with a laugh, “is get the hell out of Port Charles.” Easier than the last, a second shot followed the other and coated her throat.  
  
_{Do you see yourself in a crowded room?  
Do you think I'll snitch? Are you pistol-whipped?  
Do you step in line, or release the glitch?  
Can you fall asleep when I panic switch?  
  
When you see yourself in a crowded room,  
Do you think I'll snitch? Are you pistol whipped?  
Will you step in line or release this glitch?  
Do you think she'll sleep with the panic?}_  
  
“You’re going to have to get out of town again, Kristina. You should get as much of your family as you can to go with you.”  
  
“Is that a nice way of telling me to get my ass out of Port Charles before you go after Jason and what’s left of my father’s organization?” Kristina watched his reaction closely, noting the sudden loss of all flirtation and the sudden concern residing in his eyes, “I don’t care if you end my father’s business. Hell, I’d happily watch you set everything he had on fire.”  
  
“But?”  
  
“But…I love my brother. And you know he’s going to step in the second you take out Jason.” Kristina watched as he downed a few shots of his own, willing herself to go on, “Johnny, I’ve never asked you for any favors. I don’t even want to know what you had to do with Sonny’s death. But I am asking you to stay away from my brothers. We didn’t pick who our father was going to be, and you should understand that just as much as my love for them.”  
  
“Michael’s a hot head.”  
  
“So was Claudia. Did you love her any less?”  
  
Pointing at her, shot glass still in hand, he scolded her with his tone, “We’re not discussing my sister.”  
  
“No, but we are discussing a bond. A very serious bond between family. Understand my position?”  
  
There was a long pause between them, recollections awakening his conscious and her hope.  
  
“I can’t make any promises.” Johnny answered honestly, softening his stare as he took her hand within his, “But you have my word that I will do everything I can to keep your family out of my business, without taking drastic actions.”  
  
Squeezing his hand, she used her free hand to cup his chin, “That’s all I ask.”  
  
Johnny began to lean in, encouraged to endless bounds by the liquor steaming between their breath and gratitude stirring in her eyes.  
  
Her eyes fluttered close when she realized what he was doing, praying the release would appear as effortlessly with him as it had in the past. When she felt the tickle his lips playing with the fullness of hers, she could feel her entire being going numb.  
  
_{I'm waiting and fading and floating away  
I'm waiting and fading and floating away  
I'm waiting and fading and floating away  
I'm waiting and fading and floating…}_  
  
However, before she could forget who she was and where she was at, the loud clearing of someone’s throat brought them both crashing to reality.  
  
Kristina backed away, teasing Johnny with the quick lick of her lips, and savored Johnny’s irritated sigh as his eyes greeted their company, throwing his hands in surrender.  
  
“How can I help you, my not so silent partner?”  
  
Frowning at the inquiry, Kristina chased his words and gaze to the source of interruption.  
  
Her heart stopped immediately, crumbling to a million pieces and making her painfully aware she still possessed one.  
  
There he stood, equally stunned by her presence; the same vision of gorgeous complication she would never erase from her memory.  
  
Her breath choked her as he presented a warm smile, “Hello again, Kristina.”  
  
“….Ethan.”  
  
_**Song Credit: “Panic Switch” – Silversun Pickups**_


	3. Chapter 3

Normally, Kristina was quick on her feet. She would be game for the banter, the flirtation, and the overall competition between a man and woman. In the present, she had resorted back to a former self and found herself at a loss.  
  
Tongue tied, timid, and background – the Kristina Davis of Port Charles teenage life.  
  
Johnny’s voice signaled an escape as she tore her eyes away from Ethan and set them elsewhere, “Is there a reason you’ve decided to interrupt a private conversation or is it habit?”  
  
“Just watching your ass, mate. Michael and his cronies are minutes away, left the church early, and I thought,” He set his dark gaze upon the clearly evolved brunette, “if you had company, you might want my interruption and not a Corinthos one.”  
  
With a deep sigh, he glanced at his watch and nodded, “Good looking out.” Johnny turned to her, receiving a small grin, “Let me just check something out. Don’t move.”  
  
Ethan received Johnny’s friendly pat to his shoulder in passing, clearly uncertain if he should stick around or step out upon being left alone with her.  
  
Offended by this action, also accepting of it, Kristina turned back to the bar and poured herself another drink. She threw it back as quick as possible, praying Johnny would return soon, but found her whole body shivered as Ethan took a spot behind the bar.  
  
Their eyes engaged - a whole year of her drama flashing through mutual memory - as he gently took the glass from her hand, their fingers within a feather’s touch.  
  
“When did you start drinking like Luke Spencer?”  
  
His accent was enough to set her blood to a comforting simmer; the small smile which accompanied enveloped her with an understanding she felt unworthy of. For all of this, she hated him.  
  
Something in her had to hate him; it was the only thing keeping her from making an absolute fool of herself all over again, chasing him like some teenage horn dog in heat.  
  
“You’ve been gone some time.” Using her glass, he threw back a shot of his own then went for a refill. Now avoiding her eyes, he sighed heavily, “Thinking about sticking around?”  
  
“Hardly.” Kristina tried to put distance between them, needing some room to breathe before she passed out from the overload of emotion. Stepping off the barstool, she began to mindlessly explore her surroundings, “Once I know my brothers and sister are okay, I’m out of Port Crap quicker than I came.”  
  
“You sure about that?”  
  
His question caused her to look over her shoulder, raising a brow.  
  
“Things have changed in this town since you were last here.” Shrugging his shoulders, he gave her one of his signature half grins, “You might find things interesting again.”  
  
_Is he flirting with me?_ Even if he was, she had no clue what to do with that. Instead, she pushed out a sharp laugh and turned completely to him, “This town can’t keep up with me.”  
  
Ethan smiled into another shot, setting the glass on the counter top, and leaned against the bar, clearly looking her up and down.  
  
_Enjoy the view, Ethan. You’re not going to see any more of it._ As she had done with Johnny, she allowed him a clear observation and tried to ignore any guilt still lingering in her system.  
  
However, her regret when it came to him never fully left her system. Instead, it floated to the top at the most inopportune moments. Every time she wanted to get close to a man, every time it was almost more than ‘fun’, she recalled what she had done to him – what she put him through – and refused to let anyone that close. No way would she ever hurt another man as she had Ethan, the only one who had been so willing to save her and paid so dearly for it.  
  
Her hero had nearly been killed because of her lie, had nearly lost everything because she was addicted to the men who were nothing but danger and hurtful to her in some form.  
  
“Kristina?”  
  
Her name escaped his lips, the only time she had enjoyed the sound of every syllable, and she was brought out of every self deprecating thought.  
  
“Are you all right?”  
  
“I’m fine. Just ready to get back to my family.” Flustered, she realized she had no clue where her things were, “Can you tell Johnny I was never here, and I won’t call?”  
  
Ethan laughed at the request, losing any hint of amusement when realizing she was serious.  
  
“Thanks.” With that, she attempted a graceful exit only to hear her name once more. Kristina froze, turning back to find nothing but urgency in Johnny’s expression, “Is he already here?”  
  
“Yeah,” Johnny nodded quickly, heading over to the bar, “Ethan, I need you to take Kristina out the back. If you get caught, it will still look less suspicious than if they knew she was here to see me. Got it?”  
  
Ethan was thrown by the whole situation, but he complied nonetheless. Rounding the corner of the bar, he extended his hand towards her, “Shall we?”  
  
She wanted to resist the plan.  
  
“I’ll find a way to get in contact, all right?” Placing a gentle kiss to her forehead, he stroked her cheeks with a deep breath, “It’s good seeing you.”  
  
Kristina slowly bobbed her head, going through the motions, then took Ethan’s hand, following him out the back exit of the club.  
  
~*~  
  
“Any ideas on where we’re going?”  
  
“Johnny didn’t give you an itinerary for the getaway?”  
  
He gave her a dismissive look, refusing to dignify her attitude with any verbal response.  
  
“Just take me back to the Metro Court.”  
  
They rode in silence, not even the hum of a radio, and she felt like the car was shrinking around them.  
  
She hated being this unprepared for their first encounter since she had lived in town, since the tragedy which drove her away, and the moment this began to wash over her – she felt the tears brewing in her brown eyes. _Please, please, don’t ask, Ethan._  
  
Ethan answered her unspoken demand, pulling up to the building, and parked the car, waiting for her to step out.  
  
Wiping away tears quickly, she spoke quietly, “Thank you.”  
  
“You know, if you’re not ready for a million questions, you might want to ask me to drive you around for a couple of hours.”  
  
_I couldn’t ask you for that. I can’t ask you for anything for that matter._ Kristina swallowed a lump in her throat, glancing at the hotel then back to him. Shutting her passenger door, she buckled her seatbelt once more and set her eyes out the window.  
  
“Okay.” Ethan switched gears, letting out a long sigh, “…okay.”  
  
~*~  
  
“You better keep that boy on a leash, Jason!”  
  
The statement had set Michael off again causing Jason to signal for the aggressive removal of the volatile young man. When they were alone, his eyes returned to Johnny’s, “This isn’t the time. But you will pay for what you did to Sonny.”  
  
“You know, as much as I’d like to say I’m sorry Sonny’s dead, I just can’t. It isn’t in me. Because I hate that man and everything he stood for.” Johnny took a step forward, immediately prompting both men to signal their men to stand down, “But I don’t want trouble. So don’t provoke me into…acting on this unfortunate coincidence.”


	4. Chapter 4

The car had come to a stop, her ebony eyes watching carefully as he put the car in park yet no words explained the actions. Drifting her gaze upward, she found his stare awaiting her and tried not to flee at the sight of the tiny smile playing on his lips.  
  
Removing his car keys, he threw his car door open and stepped out to take in the view.  
  
All her senses were swimming. She could still smell a hint of his cologne in the car, the cool breeze seeping in through the open door and sending her eyes to peer through the windshield to catch the glow of Port Charles city lights.  
  
_Get it together, Kristina._ Swallowing a lump in her throat, ignoring all her thoughts regarding the city, she opened her door and sunk her heels into the dirt. She smoothed her form fitting dress once more, eyeing him to find his body leaning against the car yet his eyes glued to the city below. While crossing her arms over her chest, she moved as sexy as she could with high heels, “How do you know I can’t hot wire a car, huh?”  
  
“Oh, I’m betting you probably could.”  
  
Kristina stood beside him, pressing her backside to the car’s hood, and happily caught his eyes with hers, grinning, “So this was an Ethan friendship test?”  
  
“Nah,” Mimicking her actions, he crossed his arms, “I knew you wouldn’t burn one of the few bridges you had in town.”  
  
“Touché.”  
  
Ethan offered her a somewhat wider smile yet left his words brief, again intriguing her with the little he said and did not say.  
  
This made her challenge him, her stare holding his with confidence until he could take no more – and prompted him to turn away. While it was a small victory, she savored it nonetheless.  
  
She had to hold onto something, had to believe she possessed all the power once more because he had a way of making her feel delightfully helpless to all he did – and she just could not have that.  
  
~*~  
  
“She just leaves without a word to anybody, and you don’t find that the least bit weird, Molly?”  
  
Yes, it was weird. Yes, it bugged her. But Molly was well aware her sister processed life differently than everyone else in their family. Therefore, she did not blame Kristina for disappearing nor did it surprise her. Rather than share this, she offered him a gentle smile, “You sure you don’t want something to eat, Morgan?”  
  
“I’m not hungry, and you’re avoiding.” Morgan adjusted uncomfortably in his seat, offering a polite grin to yet another patron apologizing to him for the loss of his father, “Michael bailed too, leaving me as the only Corinthos kid for all these phony condolences.”  
  
Molly offered nod, continuing to mumble under her breath, “It’ll be over soon.”  
  
“No, this is just the beginning.” Morgan shook a nameless hand, looking around at the crowd, and sighed heavily, “My father’s the only man I know who could cause even more drama by dying.”  
  
“Morgan—“  
  
“No, you know what, I don’t why I have to be here either. I should be going after Michael and making sure he doesn’t get himself off’d next.”  
  
~*~  
  
“Thank you for your prompt arrival, gentlemen. I will not be taking up much of your time.” Johnny announced while taking his seat at the head of the table, “As you all know, Corinthos death has caused some heavy threats to be thrown in the direction of our organization. One personally delivered to me by Jason Morgan himself.”  
  
“Have plans changed? We going on full blown attack?”  
  
“I love ambition.” Curling the corner of his mouth, he leaned back with a slow nod, “As of tomorrow night, we will be fully taking over Corinthos territory. While I have been tolerant and quite accommodating by leaving them a corner of the market, I no longer have any use pleasantries. Their little outburst this afternoon has them the very last of my patience.”  
  
The families gave a firm nod of compliance.  
  
“I was hoping we would have a little respect between the territories with Sonny’s death, but it is evident we need to capitalize on opportunity. While we give them tonight to grief, tomorrow we take what’s ours.” Before he could conclude the meeting, her big brown eyes flashed in his mind and begged him to keep his promise. Releasing a long breath, he loudly cleared his throat, “There is only one stipulation to the damage we do.”  
  
“Being?”  
  
“Michael Corinthos is under the protection of our organization. Anyone who harms one hair on that kid’s head will answer to me, understood?”  
  
The men surrounding him gave one last nod before dispersing with the shake of his hand. Once they had all made their exit, Johnny stood in the dim silence and tried to process his own actions.  
  
Leave it to Kristina Davis to have him take a vow he could never keep.  
  
~*~  
  
“You feeling any urge to go back?”  
  
“Not particularly.”  
  
Ethan bowed his head, wondering if he had any ground to stand on when it came to her. Did he have any right to question her on issues like Sam or Johnny? Well aware of the egg shells surrounding her, he placed his steps with expertise, “I’m sure your brothers and sister are worried.”  
  
“They’ve been worried about me. It’s not a real change.” Releasing a breath from her full, pink lips, she squared her shoulders towards the city, “Some things never change routine, you know?”  
  
“I don’t know. Every now and then you get surprised.”  
  
His comment caused her to unleash a genuine smile, one which she refused to share – leaving it hidden beneath the thick, dark locks of her hair.  
  
Every bit of him wanted to brush her hair away from her face, take in full view of a gorgeous smile he had never gotten the true chance to enjoy, but his common sense told him to remain distant.  
  
His eyes followed the trail of her hair, down over her bare arm and curve hugging dress until they spotted her heels buried in the dirt – twisting and turning to dig their hole.  
  
“Kristina, I know I’m not supposed to mention…anything, but I’m sorry about—“  
  
“Don’t, all right?” Kristina’s flew to his, a fire burning with the black voids, “I hate it when people say that about a person. Like they’re some kind of spill you can just clean up with a word instead of napkin.”  
  
“Fair enough.”  
  
“…you know maybe I should head back now.” Kristina pushed off the car, offering him one last smile over her shoulder, and took her passenger seat once again.  
  
While he complied, he would’ve paid a hefty price for a little more time with her.


	5. Chapter 5

The moment he pulled in front of the Metro Court, her bambi brown eyes were set upon his, uncertain words leaving her lips, “I should thank you or something, right?”  
  
Ethan had to smile at this, tempted to utter words so cheesy they would make Robocop Dante roll his eyes. However, he resisted the urge, leaning his head back against his seat, “Not necessary. No worries.”  
  
“I appreciate it though. The—Johnny—you didn’t have to.”  
  
“I don’t really follow orders so if that’s what you’re thinking just forget it.”  
  
Offering the faintest smile, Kristina softly allowed the thought to leave her full lips, “Like I said, some things never change.”  
  
Her comment caused him to become very aware, almost guilty of his body’s reaction to her.  
  
Somewhere, deep down, he would always see the damaged teen he had encountered – the one who nearly ruined his life permanently. However, in a split second, she now had the power to make him see nothing but the grown woman she had become.  
  
“Thanks…again?” Kristina teased, forgetful if she had even said it once, and managed to leave the security of his sports car.  
  
Ethan watched closely, debating mixed emotions at her presence, before being stunned once more.  
  
Pausing at the entrance, she glanced back over her shoulder and rewarded him with one last memorable smile then proceeded to saunter inward.  
  
Biting the inside of his lower lip, he tried to forget how human he was – how much of a man he was – and gripped the steering wheel, _Just drive away._  
  
~*~  
  
Proud that his eyes had followed her away, Kristina easily made her way towards the front counter and inquired, “Any messages for—?” Once the woman had turned around, clearly agitated, she stopped her sentence entirely and released a soft laugh, “Olivia, it’s great to—“  
  
Cut off once more by the wave of her perfectly maintained manicure, the woman slapped a stack of papers before her and returned to her work.  
  
Kristina accepted the papers without one word of argument, no matter how necessary, and granted Olivia a pass seeing as the woman had never exposed her – even after finding out about her relationship with Johnny. Making her way to the elevator, the thoughts began to race through her mind.  
  
What had it been about Kristina bedding Johnny that broke Olivia’s heart? He had affairs, plenty of them, and never once did anything to prove his loyalty to the woman. He never moved her in, put a ring on her finger, given her a child, not one thing that would give her a promise of forever. Yet, finding the daughter Corinthos in his bed had been the last straw.  
  
Stepping onto the elevator, she tried to avoid Olivia’s eyes as she awaited the damn doors to close.  
  
Olivia’s thoughts were painfully obvious by her glare, _Slut. Whore. Home wrecking bitch_.  
  
Kristina nearly collapsed against the wall when the doors had shut, leaving her to self deprecation rather than the disapproval of others.  
  
Instinctively, moments like this set a fire under her heels – right to the airport to catch the first plane out of this small town torture. But the image of her siblings, those who she had chosen to ignore all day, had forced her direction towards her suite.  
  
Slipping the card in, she pushed the door open and turned on the nearest light. It was when the door shut behind her that she lifted her head to find a bouquet of long stem roses placed in a tall vase on the in-table. Setting her messages down for a moment, she closed her eyes and allowed the aroma to fill her deep breath.  
  
The scent wrapped her in beauty, washing away all negative thoughts, and embraced her securely with confidence as well as poise.  
  
Her eyes fluttered open, finding the card, and her fingertips carefully reached within the setting to retrieve it. Pulling the small card from the envelope, she tried not giggle at the signature she immediately registered at the end of the message.  
  
_“Jay Z?” Kristina repeated it aloud with a chuckle, wiggling the card at him, “What the hell is this?”  
  
“Well,” He wrapped his arms easily around her frame, as though they were pulled in magnetically, and grinned a signature corner grin of his, the one trademarked by Johnny Zacchara, “We can’t have the Corinthos family knowing about our little arrangement so I thought it’d be easier to keep things in code. Protect the precious Kristina Corinthos from all negative family feedback.”  
  
“Hmm…and here I was thinking it was just ‘cause you like to flash your money around.”  
  
“Now, you’ll know.”  
  
“Know what?”  
  
“Just like everything else…this is between us.”_  
  
Kristina returned from her distance thoughts, resisting every urge to recall the rest of that night in great detail, and focused her attention back to the note.  
  
_I can’t wait to hear your voice again. The club is always open to you. I’ll be in touch very soon._  
  
The words haunted her memories of her new home in Las Vegas – her history with Johnny still lingering within those city limits. Long night of laughs, singing, and intimacy which erased her whole being outside of their time together – he was the place where she could forget who she was and everything else for that matter. Johnny was her easy escape, even now as his rose gesture had pulled her out of her negativity and away from her messages.  
  
Pushing away her addiction, Kristina released a heavy sigh and began to sift through the messages. The pile consisted of her mother and sister yet not one from her brother or Morgan. She fell onto the couch, trying to ignore the disappointed clawing up her throat, and tried to push it all deep down, bury it beneath the resentment she had for her father so it would fail all attempts to leave again.  
  
_Pull it together, Kristina. You gotta do this._  
  
Unable to listen to their voices, she pulled out her phone and sent rapid text messages. Each one assuring her family she was fine, but the funeral had brought up pain she could not stand to share with the world. Insisting she was alone, she told everyone she had needed a day to breathe…and she was very sorry for letting them worry or go through things alone.  
  
When her mother called, she ignored it. When her sister texted, _where were you?_ She said it didn’t matter. Whether by habit or sorrow, Kristina answered them cold and automatic.  
  
She tossed the phone to the cushions beside her, wondering how she would confront tomorrow, and stood to her feet, reaching back for the zipper of her dress. Before Kristina could get totally comfortable, a knock at the door had forced her to freeze.  
  
Though she was out of fight, drained from the Ethan/Johnny escapade and fatherly confusion, she awaited a voice – trained to be cautious at all times.  
  
“Kris, it’s me. Open the door.”  
  
_Michael?_ The moment his voice had confronted her, she raced to the door and complied with his command. Briefly taking in his blue eyes, she embraced him with the last of her strength. _Thank God, you’re okay._  
  
Laughing as she felt his fingers pull her zipper up into place, Kristina took a step away and smoothed the material, “Sorry, I was heading to bed.”  
  
“As long as no one’s in it, you’re good.” Michael teased, looking past her with the raise of his brow, “You’re alone, right?”  
  
“Of course, I am. Who would be here?” Her answer revealed force and discomfort, yet she stepped aside with a confident gesture, “Check the place out, if you don’t believe me.”  
  
“Maybe I will.” Michael flashed his tongue at her, humored by her hit to his shoulder, and entered the suite, nodding in approval, “Mom’s changes to the décor seem pretty nice. You like ‘em?”  
  
“Could we not talk about your mom, Michael?” When his eyes met hers, clearly defensive, she nodded with a sharp laugh, “It’s kind of a sensitive subject between us.”  
  
“…agreed.”  
  
Kristina watched as he now checked the bathroom and under the bed, chuckling, “Who or what are you looking for, Michael?”  
  
“Nothing, I just heard a little rumor.” Michael straightened himself to a stand, offering her a look of concern and warning, “Someone said they saw you with Ethan today. Mentioned you were together for a pretty extended amount of time.”  
  
“Oh, God, are you having me followed now? Seriously?” Kristina crossed her arms, blood beginning to boil, and tried to keep all positive thoughts of her brother, prevent them from fading completely, “I want to be left alone, Michael, or trust I will be cutting this trip short.”  
  
“You know he works with Johnny Zacchara, don’t you?”  
  
_Yes, and I know Johnny in ways that would make you cringe._ Swallowing the thick lump in her throat, she simply stared away from her brother and bit her lips shut.  
  
“Kris, I got nothing against him, but his associate with the guy is much more dangerous than the little business arrangement Luke had with Dad.”  
  
“Sonny. Your father’s name was Sonny and spare me the history lesson.”  
  
“Don’t do this. Don’t make this situation about you.”  
  
“Is that what I’m doing? Because I thought I was mourning someone I hate, away from the family, with an old friend – all of this out of respect to those who loved Sonny!”  
  
“Damn it, Kris, he loved you! He was torn apart by what happened when he tracked you down in Vegas!”  
  
_The dismissal._ Her eyes shot to his, mortified.  
  
“Don’t worry, he didn’t share one detail other than you refused to come home and you begged him to pretend you weren’t his daughter – forget you like some kind of dream. How could you do that to him?”  
  
“…you wouldn’t understand.”  
  
“You know what, I’m so sick of that excuse! You’ve been getting away with it ever since Sam died!”  
  
There it was. The painful resurrection of every bit of her broken heart, and she could no longer with hold the tears. Unable to argue, completely helpless to yell, her faced morphed into the picture of pain causing her to conceal it within her palms.  
  
The room went silent around her, flashes of the incident bulldozing her to sobs.  
  
“Kris…” Michael’s tone softened, his presence suddenly right before her, “Kris…I’m sorry.” Securing her within his arms, he shut his eyes tightly and whispered against her hair, “I’m so sorry.”  
  
Kristina resisted his embrace initially, wanting to remain strong and untouchable to the world around her, yet she remembered her brother – the one who use to conquer the world with her – and relaxed within his arms.  
  
“I won’t bring Sam or…Sonny up to you again…tonight. But you gotta know I’m just looking out for you when it comes to Johnny and Ethan, all right?” Michael inhaled a deep breath, warning one last time, “They’re trouble, Kris. You gotta stay away from them or someone’s going to end up hurt, all right?”  
  
Kristina tried to ignore the reality gnawing at her skin – trouble was inevitable when it came to her.


	6. Chapter 6

Her ebony eyes had sold another lie, convincing her brother she was okay and up for the day’s beginning, but her insides were in knots as the four of them sat for brunch.

The sounds of forks against plates, glasses clumsily bumping against expensive plates, all rang through her ears as she attempted delicate bites of the most expensive, four star food.

While Michael had accepted her excuse after a painful flow of tears, the looks of Molly and Morgan clearly told her they refused to accept the same.

_There’s no place like home._

She repeated it, thoughtfully bumping her heels beneath the table, as she thought of Vegas. It was far away from here, full of its chaos and disgrace; she longed to return.

_{No one told me about her  
The way she lied  
Well, no one told me about her  
How many people cried_

_Well, it’s too late to say you’re sorry  
How would I know, why should I care  
Please don’t bother trying to find her  
She’s not there}_

Finally, a fork dropped against a plate with a sound which shook them all to attention.

Throwing his hands up with an angry laugh, Morgan’s eyes bounced between them, “I can’t do this.”

“Morgan—“

“No, Molly, I’m not gonna do this.”

Michael released a heavy sigh, finishing his bite and reaching for his orange juice, “What is it now, baby brother?”

“You know what? Go to hell, Michael.”

The young man’s sudden proclamation caused her entire body to tense up in a position so stiff she felt she would lose everything she forced down through their meal.

Kristina Corinthos had left this life behind years ago - the arguing siblings, the deceit of her evil father, and all the other drama which dripped from the town’s pores.

“You two,” Morgan pointed an accusing finger towards her and Michael, “get off way too easy in this family. A funeral for Sonny Corinthos, and it’s okay for his precious daughter and mini me son to disappear during the services? No problem, no one says anything because Lord knows that they must be going through something! Forget about the son who has to stick around and swallow every bit of crap shoved down the family’s throat in their absence!”

Molly attempted to calm him, setting her hands on his shoulders and calling his name once more.

Shrugging her touch away immediately, Morgan shot to his feet, “How dare you two sit there and act like the four of us have anything in common anymore! That life died years ago when** you** killed somebody,” Michael was now out of his seat as the young man set his eyes on Kristina, “and **you** ran away from every responsibility you ever had!”

“That’s enough!” Michael’s roar did nothing to calm his brother who was now being pulled from the table by Molly, “Back off, Morgan!”

“Just go get yourself killed like dad did, Michael!” His eyes shot back to Kristina, offering one last order, “And disappear like you _always_ do!” Though Molly had managed to get him out of the room, his last statement managed to sting them beyond its walls, “Life is easier without both of you!”

Her eyelids were heavy when they clamped shut, refusing to let one tear become visible. No longer could the truth hurt her as she accepted it with such warmth, embraced it like a security blanket to excuse every horrible thing she ever did or wanted.

_{Nobody told me about her  
What could I do  
Well, nobody told me about her  
Though they all knew_

_Well, it’s too late to say you’re sorry  
How would I know, why should I care  
Please don’t bother trying to find her  
She’s not there}_

After a beat, she could feel Michael’s rough hand covering her skin. It made her feel too grounded, too present, and forced her to pull away, laying her hands in her lap.

“Kris, he’s just…this thing with dad.” His voice came out with pure understanding, kindness towards her, “It had nothing to do with you, I promise.”

_I can’t take this._

Releasing a heavy breath, her eyes flew open as she stood to her feet, “I’m okay.”

“I’m serious. This is about dad and me, a lot of things, but not you. He just—he’s looking to blame the world right now.”

“I get it, okay?” Kristina’s eyes pierced his, “I’m fine.”

Michael nodded in firm agreement, backing away a step, “You want to go do something? A movie or—“

Cutting him off at the past, Kristina gathered her things, “I just want to be alone.”

As her heels rushed out of the room, set in one direction, she heard her brother call after her, “I’ll call you later!”

His voice offered her nothing.

No release or escape.

But she knew exactly where to get everything she longed for.

~*~

“Were you with Kristina for long last night?”

Ethan had to smile at the question. Honestly, he was shocked it had taken his business partner so long to ask the question obviously bothering him as they tried to conduct business, “No.”

Johnny nodded slowly, signing his name along a few dotted lines, and tried to go on as usual.

However, as they went on, Ethan could feel his own nerves settle. If Johnny was asking about her, he now knew Kristina had not found her way back to her former…_whatever he is_.

It had been almost torturous not knowing or asking Johnny about his relationship with Kristina – wondering exactly what it was and imagining only the worst.

He knew very little outside of casual facts Johnny tossed at him. They had met up in Las Vegas while he was handling some business expansion details, and they understood each other.

_“It’s as simple and complicated as that,”_ was the usual comment Johnny used to conclude the conversation before it really began.

“Looks good.” Johnny handed back all the paperwork to him, “Ready for a drink?”

“Of course.” Ethan put all the paperwork back in the envelope before joining him at the bar, “With Corinthos gone, a lot of business is coming this way.”

“Absolutely. There will be little Jason Morgan can do to stop me from a complete overhaul of Port Charles.” Johnny slid a shot towards Ethan, smiling into his own, “Feels good to be on top.”

“Well, I will happily enjoy the spoils, mate.” Ethan downed the shot and set out for business, “When I get everything set in stone, I’ll shoot you a text.”

“Sounds good.” Johnny clearly wanted to say more, but his smile had disappeared – brown eyes set on scenery just beyond him.

_Kristina._

_{Well, let me tell you about the way she looked_  
The way she acted, the color of her hair  
Her voice is soft and cool  
Her eyes are clear and bright  
But she’s not there}

Ethan registered her presence in that look, felt it in his skin, then glanced over his shoulder to see the beauty fighting off tears and forcing a smile. Without hesitation, he got off the barstool and went to her, “What happened?”

“Nothing. It’s nothing.” Her soft voice insisted, a strong sniffle echoing in the room, as her gaze set upon Johnny, “Do you got a minute?”

He remained still, offering only a cocky smile, “You know I do.”

Kristina wrapped her arms tightly around herself, avoiding Ethan’s gaze, and set her slow walk in Johnny’s direction.

Ethan laughed to himself, stunned by what the brief encounter had done to his ego, and straightened his stand before exiting the room.

While he knew the last thing he needed was to be Kristina’s scapegoat again, knew he should gladly give the job away, his eyes caught a glimpse of them in nearby reflection.

For a split second, it was impossible to ignore every urge not to turn around as he watched Kristina easily step into the Johnny’s embrace.

_ **Song Credit: "She's Not There" by the Zombies** _


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I wrote this, I had "recast" Kristina for age purposes. I cast her as Mary Elizabeth Winstead. Just a reference for the beginning of this chapter.

**(To see "Kristina" sing, go [HERE](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwEnpJV523E))**

“Family has a way of making you crazy.”  
  
The gruff low growl of his voice, the truth and understanding of his words, accompanied by a killer body of the perfect movements were all enough for Kristina to forget everything. Just as he had done before, without laying so much as a fingertip on her, Johnny had soothed her to a firm stand on shaky ground.  
  
She blew out a hot a breath and stepped off the barstool, “I don’t have a family anymore. Not since Sam. Not since I left. And coming back to town?” Kristina undid the straps of her black heels, throwing them to the club’s dance floor, “That may have been the biggest mistake I’ve made in a long time.”  
  
Johnny raised a playful brow, leaning against the bar, “Kristina Davis is flawed. Who would’ve thunk it?”  
  
“Not only flawed but,” She reached behind the counter to retrieve the open bottle and jumped back with it before he could catch her, “apparently,” Taking one long swig, she jabbed her chest with her index finger, “an absolute mess who bulldozes her surroundings before vanishing into thin air.”  
  
The words of her brothers were on permanent repeat in the back of her mind, part of the disapproving crowd that followed her wherever she went. It stripped her down to nothing and forced her to stand at only two feet of her curvy, model figure.  
  
“You know this town is incapable of grasping a personality that doesn’t fit their small minded boxes. They’re never gonna see you for what you really are.”  
  
“Oh yeah? And what am I, huh?” Kristina could no longer hide the tears brewing in her ebony eyes, “Because according to everybody else I know, I’m just trouble in high heels.”  
  
“Well, I kind of like that about you.” His words did little to conquer the self loathing in her eyes, “What does it matter what anyone else thinks? As long as you know who you are, they can’t touch you.”  
  
“Can you fill me in on who I am? ‘Cause I got not a clue.”  
  
She could feel herself doing it again. Sinking into herself, every muscle of her being reaching to the other in an effort to hide from the world – disappear permanently from all eyes around her – magically transform into someone else entirely.  
  
Then, he came to her.  
  
Unable to leave her alone, he was right there in front of her again and rejuvenating her with life. He removed the bottle from her hands, setting it at her feet, before his hands found her hips – their eyes meeting with magnetic force. A small smile danced on his lips, all of his features softened only for her benefit, “You’re beautiful, and you’re anything but a Corinthos.”  
  
Kristina covered his hands with her own, her forehead falling against his shoulder, as she absorbed his confidence – allowed his never ending pride to seep into her skin. While giving herself up to the melody of his breath and heartbeat, she had a tough time ignoring the past lingering between them.  
  
They had a relationship no one would ever understand; it never ended yet it never began. It was what it was whenever they met, an indescribable connection of attraction and acceptance. Something neither of them had ever had with anyone before – something worthy of longing for.  
  
Kristina wanted to lose herself in that nothingness, in the feeling of pleasant void, and upon pulling away, she was prepared to let him lead her into forbidden territory.  
  
Johnny had other plans, taking her hand and guiding her towards the small stage of the club.  
  
Her eyes were glued to the joining, watching as he laced their fingers – a rough hand offering the sweetest, softest gesture in a simple action. Wrapping her free hand around their locked touched, she followed him towards the polished piano with a heavy groan, “No, no, no. You know I don’t perform.”  
  
“Not for crowds, but you have for me.” Johnny tugged her gently until she was standing beside it, timid, and took a seat behind the keys, “Come on, baby, just one time.”  
  
She should have refused. After all, it had only been one time. She wanted to leave that moment in the past and lock it up for the treasure it was.  
  
However, irresistible was the first in a long list you could use to describe him as he began to play a familiar tune. Dressed in his default black slacks and button up shirt, his hair a spiked perfection, and his eyes singled her out from all the scenery surrounding them – reminding her she was the only thing he saw whether they were alone or in a sea of people.  
  
Her voice began to escape the fullness of her lips and stroke Johnny’s expectant ears.  
  
~*~  
  
His feet were heading back towards a destination clearly meant for anyone but him.  
  
Not being wanted or expected – it may have been what fueled his fire as he stomped back into the club and stormed to the main area.  
  
They may not want him to know what was going on now or before, but Ethan was determined to get some answers (the image of their embrace burned in his mind).  
  
Moments from crossing the threshold inward, his walk began to slow at the sound of a woman’s voice belting out words with the kind of emotions he had only heard in the blues.  
  
_{It’s not the way you smile that touched my heart  
It’s not the way you kiss that tears me apart  
Many, many, many nights go by  
I sit at home, alone and cry  
Over you  
What can I do  
Don’t want nobody, nobody  
Baby, it’s you}_  
  
Curious, he crept along the wall and carefully peered around the corner.  
  
Ethan’s eyes widened at the sight of Johnny and Kristina on stage.  
  
Shame began to wash over him as he took in the look of his business partner, admiring everything the young woman did. In that moment, he should have walked away in defeat at the observation of their connection – one that was crystal clear.  
  
However, like Johnny, Ethan found himself hypnotized by her presence as she went on.  
  
Leaning her head towards the lights of the stage, she held one hand to her flat stomach - unintentionally emphasizing her curves even more than her dark blue jeans and white tank top already did. Long lashes fluttered with the rhythm of the song; her long, dark locks swaying with her body’s slow movement.  
  
_{Is it true what they say  
All about you  
They say you’ll never, ever, never  
Be true  
It doesn’t matter what they say  
I know I’m gonna love you any ‘ol way  
What could I do  
Without you  
I don’t want nobody, nobody  
Baby, it’s you}_  
  
Kristina glowed in the stage lights; a shy smile on her lips once she had finished the last line – directing the lines kindly towards her piano man.  
  
Ceasing his play of the keys, Johnny lifted his hand and signaled her forth with a wiggle of his index finger.  
  
Victim to his flirtatious smile, leaning against the piano, she answered his command.  
  
A completely new sensation overwhelmed him as he stumbled onto their intimacy for the second time in one night. With any woman, Ethan would had no problem convincing himself that there was always an even better one just beyond the horizon. He had done the exact same with Kristina, especially given their history, up until this moment.  
  
Reaching into his pocket, he hid himself again in the shadows and dialed the phone number quickly.  
  
~*~  
  
Kristina laughed against his lips, impressed that he was trying to ignore the loud ring, “You better get that.” Still, he tried to ignore it, prompting her to push him back, “It could be important.”  
  
Groaning, he whipped the cell phone to his ear, “This better be good.”  
  
She allowed her bare feet to wander, knowing the routine - conditioned to making herself background noise while he conducted business. Placing a hand on her hip, she squeezed the tense muscles of her shoulder with the other as she came out of the escape and back to reality.  
  
When she left, she would have to hide herself. When she was found, the drama would be at an all time high. In the aftermath, she would feel terrible for ever coming back to Port Charles.  
  
Soberness was a bitch, and she became less buzzed with every second.  
  
Hopping off stage, she found her heels and began to focus – no more creating messes, no matter how appealing it may be.  
  
“No, I said I’ll take care of it. Let me call him personally, and I’ll get right back to you. Get me those damn signatures even it makes you take a couple negotiators with you, hear me?”  
  
Kristina turned around, grinning confidently as he rushed towards her, and held her hands up, urging him to remain back, “I gotta go.”  
  
“What? Oh, come on, that was business. It’ll take two, three minutes at best.”  
  
“No, I…” Kristina retrieved her things from the bar stool, chuckling as he continued to close the distance between them, “it’s best if I go. I—I gotta get this whole thing straightened out before I head home.”  
  
Playing with her jean pockets, hooking his fingers into the material, he brought her body flush against his, “You sure there aren’t some other things you can’t straighten out?”  
  
“In your dreams, Zacchara.”  
  
“And other places.”  
  
“You’re impossible!” Kristina cupped his face with hand, giving him a quick kiss, and pushed him away one last time, “Call one of your fail safes. I got places to be.”  
  
Heading towards the back exit, she heard him shout after her, “You’ll be back!”  
  
She rolled her brown eyes, pushing the heavy door open, and carefully stepped out, only to be immediately confronted with footsteps. However, rather than panic, relief immediately set in.  
  
Approaching the back entrance, he lowered his phone and grinned, “Fancy meeting you here.”  
  
“You have no idea how good it is to see you.” Kristina let out a heavy breath, wrinkling her brow and batting her eyelashes, “I don’t suppose you have time to give me a ride, do you?”  
  
Ethan debated for a moment, and his wavering made her wish she had stomped away.  
  
“It’s okay, never mind.”  
  
He offered his arm, teasing, “Shall I escort you _**again**_, Ms. Davis?”  
  
Taking his arm, she mumbled angrily against his shoulder, “You’re such an ass.”  
  
As they made their way to the car, they avoided each other’s eyes.  
  
It was too easy to get comfortable in their understanding, in their friendship, and neither of them could afford that.


	8. Chapter 8

Ethan wanted to ask her for a detour, request answers as to what had gotten her so ready to run to Johnny, but he drove her towards the Metro Court with only the toss of an occasional smile.  
  
Moments and blocks away, Kristina released a thought suddenly, “Is this where I ask you drive just a little longer?”  
  
“It’s up to you, princess.” His tease caused their eyes to meet, pleased with the smile she awarded him, “Did you have any specific destination in mind?”  
  
“I don’t know. It’s weird being able to venture anywhere I want now, being of age and all.” She crossed her arms with a wrinkle of her brow, “I still don’t know that I’m ever going to get use to being a grown ass woman around you.”  
  
“I’ll try not to let the many wrong meanings behind that bother me.”  
  
“You know it’s only because of my twisted mentality and has nothing to do with you.”  
  
“All right, since you’ve been hanging out in Johnny’s club so much, maybe you’d like to explore my casino.” Feeling her eyes shoot to him in surprise, he kept his eyes on the road and changed route, “Luke and Tracy ended their war by selling it to me. Neither was too happy at my association with Johnny, but you know money talks.” Ethan paused at the stop light, raising a brow, “So what do you say? Up for a little poker practice?”  
  
“No,” Kristina answered firmly, meeting his eyes with an entirely blank expression, and offered only a hint of a smile at his disappointed expression, “I’m ready to kick your ass and win some cash.”  
  
Ethan let out a loud laugh, shaking his head and pressing the gas to the floor, “We’ll see about that.”  
  
~*~  
  
“You have to keep your head straight, Michael. Before we ever go after Johnny, your priority should be fixing things with Morgan.”  
  
“It’s so easy for you to forget that Johnny thinks he runs this town? Come on, Jason, I want to make sure he’s not a threat to anyone in the family, including Morgan.” Michael sat beside his doubtful mentor, trying to ignore his mother’s watchful eye, “You can’t expect me to let him get away with this.”  
  
“I expect you to trust me to handle this.” Jason’s statement struck the room silent, his tone having the ability to shake a room still. Noting the young man’s angry eyes set elsewhere, he went on, “Johnny will not be getting away with anything he’s done to this family. But you need to worry about your brother and sister right now. Neither of them has talked to you in hours, and you should be seeking them out. What about Josslyn? Have you spent any time with her since the funeral?”  
  
“I can’t do this. I can’t pretend to be happy and act like I don’t know there’s a threat to our family.”  
  
At this time, his mother stepped in and took a seat on the coffee table in front of her favorite men. Taking one of their hands in each of hers, she burned her son’s gaze with her own, “No one, not anyone, will ever get away with harming this family. Trust Jason to keep that promise, trust me to keep him focused, and trust this family enough to fix the relationships that need handling right now. Can you do that for me?”  
  
Bouncing his eyes between his mother and a man who had always been like a father, Michael ignored all his frustrated instincts and forced a nod.  
  
~*~  
  
Kristina followed him into the main room, eyes expectant of a rich yet horrible past; she was pleasantly surprised when Ethan had disappeared to switch the lights on.  
  
Thoughts ran circles around her as she waited in a light too dim to survey her surroundings; she swam in her often muddled emotions and ideas.  
  
Sometime during this day, she had completely disappointed her family; hours ago, she had nearly fallen back into the bed of a man who had the undeniable power to wash away her reason and doubt in the same breath; now, she stood in semi comfortable uncertainty and awaited the return of some high school crush gone wrong.  
  
Moments like this had were just the swift kick in the ass she often needed to reach for a full bottle, but she had a way of making things worse with that friend.  
  
She sunk her hands into her back jean pockets, prepared to call out to him just as the lights kicked on, and introduced her to the new look, a very modern mix of white, brown, beige, and black. It only took her one look around to notice the room had expanded quite a bit in the process of the color redo.  
  
“Whatta ya think?” Ethan’s inquiry was accompanied by a proud grin and open arms towards the surroundings, “Not as bleak with me in charge.”  
  
“Definitely more lively.” Kristina agreed, nodding in approval, and found herself at the card table, stroking the table rim, “Now, onto your whipping…”  
  
“Sounds promising.”  
  
When he wiggled his brows playfully at her, she felt her stomach twist into nervous knots. It would definitely take them a minute to make that switch, recognizing flirting did not have the same implications or consequences of the past.  
  
Ethan gestured towards the bar, trying to lighten her reflective mood, “Did you want me to grab you some liquid courage before we get to it?”  
  
“Actually,” She hesitated, struck by the realization,_ I almost did some bad things with Johnny thanks to that_. Taking a seat on of the stools at the table, Kristina made a simple request, “Some water would be great.”  
  
Somewhat surprised, Ethan fulfilled her request and retrieved a couple of bottled waters.  
  
Kristina set her perfectly manicured hands on the flat surface, trying to gain her bearings. The whole world was spinning out of control as she sat there – all a result of Sonny’s inevitable demise – and she still searched, longed for some kind of pause.  
  
Temporarily, she had found it in Johnny who so easily understood her world – the world of a tormented child searching for some kind of love and acceptance. When reality had robbed her, she wound up here – praying Ethan still held some kind of healing power in his wit and charm.  
  
But somewhere, deep down, she knew none of it would help her. Nothing could possibly make her forget what a mess life was and how brief every relief was – pain and regret always returned worse than before, accompanied by that overwhelming guilt and shame.  
  
Before she could wipe away stray tears, ready to get lost in the cards, his coarse fingertip had found the outline of her cheekbone and easily caught the drops in a one smooth motion.  
  
Kristina wanted to apologize for everything. Her appearance now, her actions of the past, and for walking back into his life to take advantage of their friendship. There was no way he could ever forget what she had done, what she continued to do daily with the likes of men such as Johnny, and she would never blame him.  
  
Ethan was still so infallible to her even as she tried to fight it and hate him with the last of her love and concern locked away in a young heart full of romantic grandeurs. He had been the only thing she had held onto with all her might, fierce in determination that only he was perfect. So perfect that he deserved only the best, and she was too wrecked to ever live in his world – uncomfortable, unworthy, and uneven.  
  
When she realized his thumb continued to stroke her skin even after completing the task, she moved her cheek away with a small smirk.  
  
Retracting his hand, unapologetic in his stare, Ethan let out a husky whisper, “You never have to share anything with me, Kristina. I don’t expect anything from you.”  
  
_Thank God, I’d only disappoint you._  
  
~*~  
  
Johnny settled at the piano once again, finishing a shot and placing the glass on the floor. While his fingertips began to brush the keys, he shut his eyes and savored the sound of her voice echoing in his mind – still reverberating through the club’s walls.  
  
She had not answered his text or call since leaving, but he was confident she would return.  
  
She always did.  
  
_“I don’t want to hear I told you so right now, Johnny. I just—“ Continuing to unbutton his shirt, she placed warm and wet kisses to his neck, “I want to forget, okay? So let’s just do that. Let’s forget.”  
  
“You’re going to have to deal with Sonny at some point, Kristina.”  
  
“Not now.” She pulled back, tossing his shirt aside, and ran her hands over his skin, goose bumps trailing the path she created, “Just get lost with me, Johnny.”_  
  
While it may have been wrong to many, hell almost to him, Kristina Corinthos was too much woman to resist. One night together and he gladly accepted any time she gave him, even upon hearing about her return to Port Charles – he waited for just one more night with her.  
  
She never had to promise him forever, never had to give him any kind of commitment, because she always found her way back to his arms regardless.  
  
Everyone in the town had coddled Kristina as though she would always remain a fragile child, but he had seen the power she possessed when they met up in Vegas.  
  
That woman was all he wanted now or in the future; all her flaws recognizable to him as her own and her passion unmatched by all others.  
  
Now, he would be patient as the damage of the Corinthos-Davis family sent her back to him another time – perhaps making her stay at his side.  
  
~*~  
  
“I don’t believe this.” Ethan stared at the cards with stunned laughter, “You didn’t beat me.”  
  
“That makes it seven hands now.” She replied with a slight hiss, gathering and shuffling the card, “You sure you got the kind of money to continue?”  
  
“Are you questioning my funds? My abilities? Or my patience?”  
  
“Oooo, someone’s a sore loser.” Kristina teased, dealing the cards, and avoided his eyes when game play was back on, a bluff and dare looking all the same, “You game or what?”  
  
“You’re on.” Ethan threw in the last of his chips, watching as she adjusted her cards to make a decision. It was one of the few opportunities he had to stare at her throughout the night without appearing obvious, distracted by her features as she sat across from him.  
  
Throughout their game, the text messages had threatened to rob him of their time together – each a reminder of what he had done earlier in the night.  
  
_How could I do that to Johnny?_  
  
A bogus phone call warning of trouble had kept his phone vibrating all night – it was Johnny searching for some kind of confirmation that the problem was now fixed.  
  
The only problem for Ethan sat across from him, unaware of his part in the disruption of their piano moment. While he went through the motions, he worried about what his actions meant.  
  
When Kristina won again, he offered only the shrug of his shoulder and soaked in her movement as she continued with another hand; everything she did stirred something very troubling in his otherwise settled being.  
  
The realization washed over him with abrupt insistence. For the first time in their successful association, Ethan wanted something Johnny Zacchara had.


	9. Chapter 9

Kristina feared leaving the Haunted Star, thankful her mind had been focused only on cards for the past few hours. When she returned to the Metro Court, it would be back to the battle – family drama and Port Charles judgment.  
  
Building up her courage, she slid the card pile towards him with a weak smile, “Suppose I should go now.”  
  
Ethan nodded, busying himself with another shuffle of the cards, “If that’s what you want.”  
  
A sharp breath left her lips, pushing it out with the bottom of her belly, “I wish I knew what I wanted.”  
  
Her confession caused his eyes to meet hers, his head somewhat tilted downward, and his look held his promise.  
  
_You don’t have to say anything._  
  
She wrapped her hands around her biceps, giving the muscle a stress squeeze, “Do you remember, when I was younger, I kinda…I didn’t know what I wanted or how anything positive could possibly happen to me?”  
  
“Sure.”  
  
“Well, that never really went away.”  
  
Ethan smirked, putting the cards down, and crossed his arms, propping them on the table, “You’re not a kid anymore, Kristina. You don’t live by the same rules.”  
  
“You’re right. I don’t live by any, and that’s the problem.”  
  
“Then maybe you should start making your own rules.”  
  
Kristina laughed genuinely at this, her arms dropping to her sides, “You’re such a cornball.”  
  
“I’m serious!” Ethan stood to his feet, presenting a wide grin as he extended a hand to her, “It may be time for some Kristina guidelines.”  
  
Accepting his hand, she rose to her feet, “Maybe.”  
  
Ethan allowed the conversation to end there, and she could not help but notice he kept her hand clasped within his own.  
  
~*~  
  
Morgan’s eyes immediately shut at the sound of footsteps, “Please, just go away, Michael.”  
  
“I’m afraid I can’t do that, bro. I kind of feel like you still got some low blows you want to take.”  
  
Whipping to a stand from his chair, his brown eyes were ready to challenge all enemies, “You’re right. I got a lot more to say.”  
  
Michael lifted his hands in surrender, “Come on, Morgan, I’m not here to fight, man. I’m here to—be here.”  
  
Tightening his jaw, Morgan balled his fists, “You can’t be there for me or anyone else. You forgot how to a long time ago.”  
  
“That isn’t fair. I’ve been—“  
  
“Gone, distant, and learning dad’s business so well you forgot everything else.” As Michael’s eyes hardened, stone in his stare, Morgan had to laugh and pointed an accusing finger, “That, _**that,**_ right there is what I’m talking about! Did you forget Dad _and_ Uncle Jason didn’t want you in this?! Did you forget Mama would lay down her life before she let you take another bullet?! You’re so selfish that you can’t even see straight!”  
  
“Selfish!? I went to prison for this family! I’m the one who had to kill to protect our sister! I’m the one who stood on the frontlines to protect you and Kristina and everyone else in this damn family! What the hell have you done for me, huh? When was the last time you stood for something, Morgan? You’re such a damn kid that concepts of these life or death decisions are completely beyond your grasp!”  
  
“Bullshit! I’ve been here! While you and Kristina, dad’s truest kids to form, ran away like little bitches, I was here making sure that everyone thought you hung the moon! Lying through my pores to make sure everyone else believes you to could do wrong while I knew the truth!”  
  
“Oh yeah? What truth is that?”  
  
“It’s easier for you two to hide from life, and the rest of us just have to deal with it. While you two get everyone kissing your ass, the rest of us have to walk a straight line.”  
  
“It’s so tough, isn’t it, Morgan? To be so protected, so shielded, the precious baby boy who never had to deal with anything real outside of mommy’s womb.”  
  
Morgan’s rage boiled over, sending him bolting in Michael’s direction and tackling him to the ground. Almost instantly, his fist had followed and landed one solid contact with Michael’s jaw before two strong hands had pulled him back to a stand.  
  
His ebony eyes watched in amused anger as their mother went immediately to his brother, checking his face for any marks while Jason held him back, “And I’m the one who’s still living under mama, right?”  
  
Morgan’s words caused a sea of eyes to meet his in disbelief, stunned by his actions, as he shrugged his uncle’s hands off and returned to his seat – firm in his position.  
  
~*~  
  
_Morgan’s lost it._  
  
Her dark eyes went over the text careful as a breath escaped her lungs before her fingernail touched the screen and shut the phone off completely. Tucking it away in her small purse, Kristina felt her stomach anchor down at the sight of the Metro Court entrance.  
  
Before she could thank her company for a great escape, she saw hell awaiting her inside the lobby, “God! Doesn’t that woman ever catch a day shift?”  
  
Ethan leaned over her seat, his brown eyes peered inward, and prompted a smile to emerge on his lips, “Olivia’s been a little high strung since Sonny’s death.”  
  
“Among other things.” Kristina mumbled, trying to motivate herself to the elevator inside, “I really can’t do this tonight. I can’t deal with her on top of everything else. All she does is poor salt into wounds.”  
  
Before she could continue her rant, Ethan had raced away from the entrance and into the Metro Court parking lot. As if he were a stunt man, he spun the rear end of the car into a spot and shut the car down.  
  
“What are you doing?”  
  
“Well, I can’t leave you to face the wicked witch of Metro Court lobby all alone, can I?”  
  
Kristina smiled thanks rather than spilling a word of it, watching as he got out and came around to open her car door. Following him towards the entrance, she pushed out a deep breath and allowed him to lead her inward.  
  
Olivia was on the phone, her eyes focused on paper work, as they made their way to the elevator.  
  
_Please, God, please let that woman stay on the phone. Please…_  
  
“I don’t believe this.”  
  
_Guess I reached my prayer limit, huh?_  
  
Kristina held her head higher, ceasing her inner dialog, and turned to face the voice’s accusation, “Olivia, this kind of customer service is going to have to stop.”  
  
“First, you mess with Johnny. Now? You’re screwing around with his partner? What the hell is wrong with you, little girl, are you just on permanent self destruct mode?”  
  
Before Kristina could bite into her, fully prepare to take her down, Ethan attempted to diffuse the situation with charm, “Ladies, there’s no need to fight over me. There’s enough to go around.”  
  
Olivia crossed her arms, “Oh, honey, I’m not sure about that.”  
  
Equally undeterred, Kristina settled her hands on her hips, “What’s wrong, old woman? Forget some medication today?”  
  
“It wasn’t enough to rob Johnny of the only woman who ever really loved him? Now, you’ve got to take his best friend?” She eyed her in clear disgust, “You’re a real heartless bitch, you know that?”  
  
The elevator had arrived, saving Kristina from fighting back with a defense she clearly did not have. Stepping onto the elevator, she tucked herself away in a corner – trying to ignore the shame and guilt now crawling on the along the heat of her skin.  
  
Ethan held the elevator doors, suddenly the picture of somber, as he aimed his stare towards Olivia, “I wonder how my cousin’s going to react to an attack on her family? What do you think?” When her look lost a little confidence, he snapped his tongue against the roof of his mouth, “Probably about as good as my partner when I tell him how you’ve treated a grieving daughter staying at this hotel? I mean if I didn’t tell him,” Ethan smiled, a mixture of threat and sincerity, “Port Charles is such a small town that not a lot gets past him, you know?”  
  
Olivia recoiled before he joined Kristina on the elevator, allowing the doors to shut.  
  
Though stunned by Ethan’s somewhat protectiveness of her, Kristina pushed her floor number and took a stance beside him. After a beat, she bowed her head, “You didn’t have to do that.”  
  
“Yeah…I did.”  
  
After all these years, he still did not hesitate to jump to her defense. To Kristina, it was hard to believe and absolutely acceptable at the same time. Letting every wall down, even for just a second, was her only way of expressing this.  
  
She shut her eyes tightly, resting her body against his, and laid her head on his shoulder, whispering, “Thank you, Ethan.”  
  
Though she kept her eyes clenched, she could feel his head fall against hers and the muscles move in his cheek – leaving her to picture his gorgeous smile.


	10. Chapter 10

_“Kristina, get down!”  
  
The shout came out of nowhere, causing her ebony eyes to zoom in on her lips and not the content escaping them. Instead, she was stiff and frozen in her stance.  
  
Without another warning, she watched as her sister ran towards her – popping off rounds – until she could take her to the ground._  
  
“Sam!!!” The scream erupted from Kristina’s throat as she shot up in bed.  
  
“Kristina?”  
  
Through watery eyes, she matched his accent to his approaching form.  
  
“It’s okay. You’re okay.” He brushed the sticky strands of her hair from her cheeks, “It was just a dream.”  
  
Batting his hands away, she got out of bed, “No, it wasn’t just a dream, Ethan. It was real.”  
  
“All right, look, whatever it was about. It’s over. You’re okay.” He stood to his feet, walking around to her, and continued to talk her back to reality, “You’ve got to calm down. Just tell me what you need.”  
  
_{It’s like you caught up in a maze  
You keep on going in circles, girl  
You’re trying to find your way out  
But its time I put on my cape and  
Put that ‘s’ on my chest  
Girl, I wanna come and save you}_  
  
Kristina bounced in place, unsure of where to turn, and stared at her hands. They shook uncontrollably, still stuck in the dream, and her body felt as though it were on fire from the adrenaline coursing through her veins. Folding her hands into one another, she tried to focus and whispered his name, “Ethan?”  
  
“Yeah,” A relieved smile seeped across his lips as he took a step toward her, “It’s me.”  
  
“What are you doing here?” She did a quick check of her clothes to find a tank top and sweats, a nervous question leaving her lips, “What did we do?”  
  
“Nothing. You just—we talked and you asked me to stay awhile. When you got really tired, I just let you sleep.”  
  
“And you stayed?”  
  
He raised his hands in surrender, insisting, “On the sofa.” When sensing she had started to touch down, Ethan took another step forward, a soft laugh leaving his lips, “This expensive suite has quite a set up.”  
  
_Thank God. Thank God, I didn’t make things worse. I could’ve made things worse._  
  
As the thought strangled her, she covered her face with her hands and tried to hide her shame. No one needed to know what haunted her, what kept her from any life resembling what she once had. She had to keep it locked up tight and let no one get that close again; she could never lose another person. Her heart would not allow it.  
  
“Kristina, you don’t have to talk about it, but you could at least let me know your okay.” Ethan was close enough for Kristina to soak in his worry, staring up into his bottomless brown eyes, “Please? Tell me what to do to make this okay for you.”  
  
Her instincts told her to run, race for the nearest exit and explain later. However, the words tumbled out of her lips before she could stop them, “It’s the same. It’s the same. It’s the same!”  
  
“What? What’s the same?”  
  
“The dream! It’s Sam, and she’s there. She’s yelling at me to get down, and I’m just—I can’t do anything. I want to run, scream back—“ Fresh tears fell out of her eyes, her voice began to tremble, “but I can’t breathe! I can’t run! I just—I let her die!”  
  
“No, no, listen to me, Kristina.” His hands held her biceps, gently squeezing them and forcing her to give him full attention, “You were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Your sister saved your life.”  
  
“I killed her! Don’t you get that!? Everyone I love dies! I get them killed!” She pushed him off of her, using all her weight to do so before her furious feet padded their way towards the door, “You’re never gonna understand, so you need to leave.”  
  
_{But I’m stuck in the middle  
of seeing you hurt  
I know when you love him  
And you wanna make it work  
And I can’t help but think that I known you first  
It’s getting louder, girl  
Can’t ignore it no more}_  
  
Ethan was astonished, “What? Kristina, no, I’m not leaving you.”  
  
Swinging the door open, she refused to look in his direction or say another word.  
  
He waited for a moment before submitting, exiting her suite with the slam of the door behind him.  
  
Upon his exit, her knees gave way and caused her to collapse to the floor – sobbing at one gruesome idea.  
  
_I won’t let it happen to you, Ethan. I won’t be your end._  
  
~*~  
  
Johnny flashed a trademark grin, waving goodbye to his latest overnight company as she exited his penthouse, and poured a stiff drink as thoughts started to overwhelm him.  
  
_“You sure you won’t come back with me? We could raise hell in Port Charles just as easily as we do in Vegas.”  
  
Her dangerous smile was in good company with his, “No, I don’t think I’m ready to sign up for that kind of damage to my hometown.”  
  
“Suit yourself.” Zipping up his bag, he took a seat on the edge of the bed and extended his hand to her, “You know…”  
  
The image of perfection in a short eggplant colored dress; she slinked towards him and slid her hand into his palm, “What?”  
  
“If you ever need anything,” He stroked the back of her hand with his thumb, meeting her eyes with sincerity, “you call me, Kristina.”  
  
Nodding slowly, she offered a timid smile then a tight embrace, “Trust me, you’ll know when I need you.”_  
  
He threw back the drink, preventing his lips from the bitter mention of her name, and fell onto a seat on his couch, leaning his head back just as loud knock appeared on his door, “Go away!”  
  
_{Baby, I should’ve never caught no feelings  
But, baby, having late night conversion on your sofa  
You telling me how he played you out over and over, over and over  
But I’m stuck in the middle of seeing you hurt  
I know when you love him  
And you wanna make it work  
And I can’t help but think that I knew you first  
It’s getting louder  
Girl, I can’t ignore it no more, baby}_  
  
“No can do, mate. Now, open the damn door!”  
  
“Well, with a greeting like that…” Johnny approached his door, “Why not?” The moment he spotted Ethan’s exasperated expression, he had to laugh, “You look like hell. What’s up?”  
  
Bulldozing his way in, Ethan headed straight for the bar, “Kristina is a mess, and I don’t know what to do about it.”  
  
“Of course, she is. She’s Corinthos’ daughter. What did you expect?”  
  
“It’s not about that, man. It’s her sister.” Ethan threw back a drink then proceeded to a seat on his couch, “She woke up screaming Sam’s name and freaking out about what happened all those years ago.”  
  
“Wait a second, you were with her last night? When I was texting you, over and over again, about the contract?” Johnny threw a hand at his shoulder, connecting only dots which displeased him, “You went running after Kristina and forgot about business, **after** interrupting me when I was with her?”  
  
“This isn’t about you or last night.” Ethan’s eyes were full of fire, anxious for his own answers, “This is about the fact that someone we mutually give a damn about thinking a ghost is in the room.”  
  
_{I don’t wanna confuse things (no)  
But I just can’t keep lying to myself  
When you’re holding me (when you’re holding me)  
I can feel your pain, oh baby, let me be your dream  
I’m the answer come see me (see me)  
And you don’t have to cry no more (you don’t have to cry)}_  
  
Johnny noted the severity of his comment, temporarily setting his mixed emotions aside, “It’s not a ghost. It’s a dream.”  
  
“And?”  
  
“And she’s been having it since she left Port Charles. She always dreams about Sam’s death to the point of exhaustion, until she sees nothing at all when she dreams.” He took a seat on the arm of the couch and continued only when Ethan’s look settled into reflective mode, “She doesn’t talk about it unless she’s screaming. She just—blames herself for everything, and she refuses to let anyone fix it. Trust me, better men have tried.”  
  
Ignoring the pettiness of the comment, Ethan rested his elbows on his knees, “I’m not okay with her blaming herself for something she had no control over. Her sister was in as much danger as her father, if not more. She was a P.I. and dated Jason Morgan. That’s a death certificate for anyone.”  
  
“Kristina doesn’t see it that way.”  
  
“And you’re fine with that?”  
  
“I don’t control her, Ethan. No one does. She is all about control now, especially when it comes to **_her_** thoughts about **_her_** past.”  
  
“I’m not going to leave her on self destruct.”  
  
“It’s the reason she left Port Charles in the first place. You’re not going to change her mind.”  
  
_{I can hear your heart  
Crying out for me  
I can hear your heart  
Crying out for me  
(And it’s saying)  
Come on in, come on in, come on in and save me  
Come on in, come on in, come on in and save me  
I can hear your heart crying out for me}_  
  
“You might be just fine with that, but I’m not.” Ethan stood to his feet with an angered smirk, “Someone’s got to help her deal with this. Sam and Sonny are gone.”  
  
“You don’t get it. She doesn’t want help. She wants to be left alone. Always has.”  
  
They shared a long glare, both set in their ideas about her, and left the conversation at that.  
  
~*~  
  
Kristina had taken the morning to gather herself, trying desperately to forget the spectacle she had made this morning. If Ethan did not think the worst of her before, she had corrected that for him.  
  
Sitting alone, locked up in her suite, she gathered all her nerve and pulled out her cell phone.  
  
Her fingers hesitated before swiftly brushing the keys, typing the message.  
  
_Could we meet up somewhere? I want to talk._  
  
She pressed send before she could rethink the matter, almost instantly receiving a text message back.  
  
_Name the time and place._  
  
Smiling weakly at the reply, she allowed the response to calm her nerves.  
  
_{Girl, I can hear it  
Hear it crying  
For me..}_  
  
**_Song Credit: "Crying Out for Me" - Mario_**


	11. Chapter 11

The point of her high heel created clear, deep lines in the grass beneath her; her hands curved around the chains holding her swing up.  
  
_Just be honest. No matter how hard it is. No matter how much you wanna scream and run away. Be honest with him._  
  
“Don’t suppose you’re waiting for someone.”  
  
His voice was like gentle music to her wounded ears, traveling a smooth path to her aching heart.  
  
Lifting her head, she found Ethan’s smile awaiting her and sighed inward, “Not anymore.”  
  
“Choice spot for a meeting, Kristina.” He sat in the available swing beside her, nodding towards their surroundings.  
  
After a beat, she spoke, “I owe you an explanation.”  
  
Ethan bowed his head with a smile, staring at his hands, “You don’t owe me anything.”  
  
“Then…I want to give you an explanation.” She waited for him to peek at her through his peripheral, blinking her eyes and releasing a long breath, “Something happens when I let myself sleep. It’s not a dream, it’s like a rewind. Suddenly, I’m there. I’m in the moment where Sam died, and I’m stuck. Over and over again with no rhyme or reason, I’m back there. I’m wishing it were me.”  
  
Maintaining silence was difficult as Ethan listened; everything within him wanted to tell her to stop thinking that way, believe she was so much more than a moment of despair.  
  
“It feels like I failed her. Like I let her die. I could’ve done something more…” Kristina trailed off, quickly using the side of her index finger to rid her cheeks of tears, “I didn’t mean to take any of that out on you. I just—I’m used to it, I guess.”  
  
“As much as I don’t want you to yell or throw things, I have to ask.” Ethan turned his head, his eyes full of sympathy, “Do you really think Sam wants you to live like this? Blaming yourself for something you had no control over.”  
  
“Don’t make me regret talking to you, okay? Don’t—don’t make me wish I hadn’t told you this.”  
  
“I’m not. I just—“  
  
“What? Want to tell me how to think or feel like everyone else does?” Kristina got out of the swing, abruptly taking a stand, “You’re supposed to be different, Ethan.”  
  
“You’re right. Which is why I can’t sit here and listen to you spew any kind of nonsense.”  
  
“It’s not nonsense! It’s the way I feel! The way I live every day of my life!” She stopped the moment onlookers paused, fueling her embarrassment and discomfort, “Nevermind, this was a mistake.”  
  
“Wait,” Ethan jumped out of the swing, catching her wrist, “Wait, just a second, all right?” Once he was convinced she’d stand for a moment, he released her from his hold, “I don’t want to tell you how to feel or think. But I have to help you understand that someone loved you enough to risk their life to save you. So you could live it, not spend it regretting a decision someone made out of selflessness.”  
  
The pools in Kristina’s eyes worsened with his words, falling when he placed his hands on her shoulders.  
  
“You have got to start releasing yourself from whatever this is. Get it out. Don’t let it sit in your system until you’re as hateful as someone like Johnny.”  
  
Kristina smiled, raising a curious brow, “Sure you want to throw your buddy under the bus like that?”  
  
Taking his time, he gathered one of her hands in his and locked their gaze, “All I care about is helping you. I’m not worried about him.”  
  
She squeezed his hand, fighting back a new onslaught of tears, “Thank you.”  
  
Ethan shook his head with a crooked smile, “Anytime.”  
  
~*~  
  
“You know, you guys are making it really hard for a man to make a decent living.”  
  
The smile on Johnny’s lips increased the frustration owned by Dante. Once the guards had been called away, he stepped up to his desk, “You’re starting a full blown war in Port Charles.”  
  
“Really? By doing what? Helping the great city reach its full potential?” Johnny leaned back into the leather of his office chair, “You keep on with this harassment, and I can only imagine what kind of funding the PCPD will lose.”  
  
“Enough with the lies, all right? I know you’re the reason Sonny’s dead, and I’d gladly join in the parade, if it wasn’t for one thing.”  
  
“Oh yeah, what’s that?”  
  
“My brother, Michael. The one who is more determined than Jason to make this end in your blood.”  
  
Johnny’s jaw tightened at the comment.  
  
“Say and do whatever the hell you want in this town. I could give a damn.” Dante pressed his fists into the cherry wood of his desk, leaning in with a cold warning, “But if anything happens to my brother, I’ll kill you myself. Do we understand each other?”  
  
Staring right through him, he held his head high as the detective stood straight.  
  
“That’s what I thought.”  
  
Once Dante had exited the office, Johnny whipped out his cell phone and began to purge his thoughts.  
  
~*~  
  
They had ended up in a calm seat on the nearby bench. Silence had been maintained between them, interrupted every now and then with Kristina’s confessions of what haunted her – Sam’s death, the hate between her and her father, then the inevitable talk of Johnny.  
  
“I know it’ll all come out one day, you know? Like a house of cards waiting for a really strong wind.”  
  
Ethan wanted to broach the topic long ago; however, he wanted to be careful with the presented opportunity, “Why don’t you just tell them the truth about him? About what happened in Vegas?”  
  
“Honesty? I’m not even sure I remember what that feels like.” Kristina laughed upon seeing his smile, savoring the feeling of support one look from him offered to her, “I’m not sure I even understand it. There are some things I understand, and other things I can’t wrap my mind around.”  
  
“Such as?”  
  
“Such as…I know the physical stuff. I know it didn’t mean anything on some deeper, cosmic level.” She missed his discomfort at her proclamation, searching her memory for a better explanation, “But there were other things that I had with Johnny, in that time and place, which no one else could’ve given to me. Knowing exactly how it felt to lose your sister. Or how much it eats at you when you hate your father. Feeling like when he said ‘I know what you mean’ that he really did.”  
  
Ethan opened his mouth, wanting to question their connection further when her cell phone interrupted them.  
  
With one look at the name, she stood to her feet, “It’s Johnny.”


	12. Chapter 12

Offering a smile to a guard at the back entrance, Kristina said not one word as he opened the door and signaled her inward.  
  
It shocked her how well she had memorized the layout of the club. While it had been new upon her arrival, she had been there enough to remember exactly how to get to him and run away.  
  
Stepping into the dim lit main room, Kristina called out to him, “Johnny?”  
  
“Hey there, brown eyes.”  
  
His husky response signaled countless things to her. One, he was in a different time and place. That name hadn’t been used since Vegas, and it was usually in moments of forbidden intimacy – when they both knew it was wrong for them to be together. She also knew by his call that he was struggling with something; unfortunately, it would probably have a lot to do with his loyalties to his life outside of the business and what his business required of him. Knowing this, Kristina’s fears were triggered.  
  
_Michael…_  
  
She knew she still had a chance to change his mind, were that the issue, and forced herself to be the woman she had been in the past – feed into every bit of his bruised ego. Turning to face him, she found him hiding in a booth with an open bottle of scotch and empty glass.  
  
“Hey there.” Kristina allowed a seductive smile to dance on her lips as she made her way over to him, “You start without me?”  
  
“Feel free to join me.”  
  
Sliding into the booth, she scooted her body close to his and poured the bottle into the glass, “What’s on your mind? Or do I gotta guess?”  
  
His eyes were on her, burning her skin, as he watched her throw back a shot. Once she had, he poured another, “Your brother was here.”  
  
She tried to mask panic, “Oh yeah? What’d he have to say?”  
  
“I was talking about Dante, in case you wondering.” Johnny’s clarification eased some of her nerves until he continued, “He warned me to stay away from Michael. Everyone seems to be more concerned with your brother, who targets me, than the obvious problem.”  
  
“Which is?”  
  
“Oh, come on, you know what it is.”  
  
Kristina narrowed her eyes, shrugging her Shoulders, “Enlighten me.”  
  
“It’s you.” His words came out cold, accompanied by a dead look in his eyes she could rarely recall, “You got everyone running around crazy, and no one asks questions. It’s amazing.”  
  
“You’ve got to be kidding me? Is that why you called me here?” She leaned in, switching her tone to ice cold, “You want to feel sorry for yourself and what you did? Good, leave me out of it.”  
  
When she went to leave, he grabbed her wrist and forced her to remain in place, “How did Ethan see you have a nightmare, huh? And how does no one know about us?”  
  
“Unlike you, I prefer to keep my conquests to myself.” Kristina tried to escape again only to have him pull her closer, yet fear was only second to her rising anger, “Johnny, let me go.”  
  
Johnny shut his eyes, his forehead falling against her temple, and whispered into her ear, “Was it that bad when we were together? Were you that unhappy?”  
  
“…we were never together, Johnny.” The tears glossed her gaze, her body easing in his arms, as she replied, “And I was happy with you…always.”  
  
Johnny pulled away, tucking her hair behind her ear as her eyes met his. Their dark ovals mixed sadness and confusion, regarding their past and present.  
  
“Why did you leave?”  
  
Kristina hated this conversation. They had it before. The truth seemed to hurt his feelings more than lies would, but she refused to sugar coat anything. Kristina had spent too much of her life taking care of others, and she was still clueless on how to keep herself happy.  
  
Still, she had a hard time digesting the wounded gaze he offered up to her. She lifted her hand to his face, pleased his eyes closed at her touch, “I told you, it wasn’t us. I had to go, and I don’t have a reason. I just…I knew we weren’t right.”  
  
“Why couldn’t we be?” The question sent her eyes and touch away from him, causing him to add, “Then people would understand why I let Michael live. Why I haven’t made him pay for the consistent disrespect.”  
  
Kristina snapped her attention back to him, her defenses up and operational, “Is that what this is? Blatant blackmail because you have to prove something to everyone? Using me to prove a point?”  
  
“I would never do that, and you know it. I gave you my word, and I’ll keep it.”  
  
Johnny‘s tone was soft, understanding just the way she remembered it. The same voice which had told her so many times she was safe, protected, and wanted.  
  
She brushed away a few tears, shoulders slumped, “Then what is this? Why am I here?”  
  
“It’s Ethan.”  
  
“Ethan?”  
  
“Yeah, he came by to talk to me about you.”  
  
Kristina adjusted uncomfortably, wrapping her arms around herself and looking away.  
  
“He says you’re still having the dreams about Sam.”  
  
“You know they don’t go away.”  
  
“I know. I tried to explain that to him.”  
  
“And?”  
  
“He wouldn’t listen. Told me that I must’ve been fine with you on self destruct.” Johnny finished a drink, shaking his head with a sigh, “I didn’t tell him about my dreams, or why I knew you would be like this, I just let him think I was a jerk.”  
  
Kristina was well aware of how Claudia haunted him, bringing him as many restless nights as her, “Thank you.” Suddenly, in that familiar comfort, she rested her head on his shoulder and curled up against him, “Ethan thinks he can fix me.”  
  
“That’s his first mistake.” Laying a soft kiss on her head, he wrapped one arm around her body and left his free hand on his glass, “You’re not broken, Kristina. You’re just trying to figure it out like the rest of us.”  
  
She smiled at his comment, thankful one person accepted her as is, and covered his hand with hers, “Must be why we’re such good friends, huh? Unrecognizable to the outside world?”  
  
Johnny let out a long sigh, finishing off the last of the bottle, “Must be.”


	13. Chapter 13

“I just think things would’ve been better if you had been here, Kristina.”  
  
She had heard it a thousand times since returning to town, each time it may have been dressed in different words but the message was the same. Kristina let them down, consistently and without apology. However, when accepting her sister’s dinner invitation, she expected anything but a lecture.  
  
She finished the bite in her mouth, dabbing the corners of her glossy lips, “Could we please discuss something other than my failures? I really don’t need this.”  
  
“Well, I’d love to talk about something else. But – _**you’ve**_ – barely had two words to say to me or anyone else since coming home. I don’t even know if you’re staying.”  
  
The idea of being a permanent fixture in Port Charles, becoming their gossip, made her physically ill. Part of her wished she was still sailing on the warm liquor of last night, safe in Johnny’s arms and away from anyone who thought they knew her. Her smarter self knew that last night ended as it should’ve – a simple kiss to the cheek and none of the physical escape they had sought in the past.  
  
Kristina settled her napkin back across her lap, reaching for her wine, “I don’t have plans one way or another.”  
  
“I wish you wouldn’t lie to me.”  
  
_Liar and a slut, good for nothing else_. Kristina swallowed her elixir with a bitter smile, “Why don’t you just tell me what you want to hear so I can live up to expectations, all right?”  
  
“I’m sorry I just…everything’s a mess now, and I—I can’t help but want you to say that you might consider coming home.”  
  
“This isn’t my home. You know that. It hasn’t been since…” Kristina trailed off, pushing food around on her plate to avoid her sister’s sympathetic stare, “It doesn’t matter. I’ll move on when the time is right.”  
  
“Why don’t you talk it? Talk about her?”  
  
_I can’t_. Kristina’s feet itched with desire to bolt, a fire at her heels as she tried to find the words to answer Molly with, some words that would not make her appear or feel as selfish as she knew she was.  
  
“Two beautiful women and not a man in sight. I must be in heaven.”  
  
His voice had the power to rip through the tension of their conversation and the knot forming in her stomach. Kristina knew his rich tones from a syllable, but Molly’s bright smile confirmed who it was before their eyes met. She allowed her eyes to take in the rebel who had often saved her from pain on any level, “Ethan.”  
  
His eyes bounced between them, his smile fading, “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”  
  
“You didn’t.” Molly signaled for him to join them in the somewhat empty dining room of the Metro Court, “I have to step away for just a second, so why don’t you keep my sister company until I get back?”  
  
“Molly—“  
  
“Everything’s fine.” Molly covered her sister’s hand with a gentle grin, “I’ll be right back.”  
  
Releasing a heavy sigh, she stepped away and allowed Ethan to take her seat across from her sister.  
  
Ethan waited for her to be out of earshot before leaning in a little, “You okay?”  
  
“Do I look it?”  
  
“You look gorgeous as usual.” His comments caused a smile to appear despite her wounded emotions as he reached over for her wine, “so that tells me nothing.” Ethan took a swig, returning it to its space with a frown, “That’s terrible.”  
  
“It’s sweet.” Kristina chuckled at his expression, trying to prepare for what he would now throw at her, “What are you doing here anyway? Hot date?”  
  
“We can discuss my batting average later. I came her to ask you for a favor.”  
  
Kristina arched her brow, crossing her arms, “I’m listening.”  
  
“I’m having an incredible gambling gathering this weekend, only the classiest of Port Charles in attendance, and I need someone to help me drain them of every wonderful dollar they have.” Ethan gestured towards her with a wide grin, “Which is where you come in, my lovely associate.”  
  
“Mm-hmm, and I would be doing…?”  
  
“Running one of my card tables. After all the money you hustled out of me the other night, I thought it would be a nice chance for you to make some of the biggest snobs in town envy and loathe you all at once.”  
  
“Well, I got half of that down pat so…” She extended an open hand while leaning on the table, “You got yourself deal,” As he went to shake her hand, she denied him by adding, “If I got a healthy bit of your profits.”  
  
“How healthy?”  
  
“Very.”  
  
Though he narrowed his eyes, Ethan took her hand in his and gave it a firm shake, “Deal.”  
  
When she let out a soft laugh, attempting to retract her hand, he held on. Kristina watched as he brought the back of her hand to his lips and placed a soft kiss to her skin.  
  
“You’re a lifesaver.”  
  
He awarded her once more with praise that she may have felt unworthy of yet accepted again, so caught up in his gaze that she failed to notice the eyes of others around them and only saw Ethan.  
  
~*~  
  
The image of them together, her childhood crush still evident as his friend sat there with new emotions of his own, left Johnny to stand their with angered amusement.  
  
Every time he thought he had Kristina’s full attention, had been the friend she needed, he got a reminder that Ethan was still irreplaceable to her – some hero and fantasy of a man. Johnny knew his best friend would never live up to her expectations, and her disregard for the realness they possessed together agitated him.  
  
However, as he heard heels nearby, he stepped into the shadows and watched as her little sister joined them in their pleasant exchange.  
  
Kristina would never have him break bread at the same table, trust him to be the family confident because of who his family was, and he would always be the secret – the part of her life that no one else could know.  
  
With a frustrated smile, Johnny walked away with only one certainty. _Ethan will never know her the way I do._


	14. Chapter 14

“You look amazing.”  
  
Ethan’s dumbfounded expression made the expensive, tight-fitting red dress worth the credit card debt; Kristina bowed her head in attempt to hide her smile, wondering if her open toe matching heels were too far – hoping her updo and diamond earrings classed it up, “Do I look good enough to man the table?”  
  
“Among other things.”  
  
Kristina’s dark chocolate gaze caught the flirtation within his, her hands finding her hips, “That doesn’t sound like appropriate office talk, boss. You better watch it before I sue you for sexual harassment.”  
  
“I guess I’ll just have to make it worth it then, won’t I?” Ethan casually brushed by her, continuing with the night’s preparations.  
  
Their flirtation had been brief, still new to her, but it was enough for her to build a small and permanent smile upon. As the next hour went on, him speaking to her in only brief requests, she found herself memorizing the feel of his thumb as it brushed the outside of her hand and the low growl he let out when something had yet to be perfected.  
  
Ethan didn’t seem to mind her admiring gaze until the approach of footsteps and a loud command disrupted their concentration, “You still _**not**_ ready?”  
  
Kristina knew the message was more for her than her 'temporary' boss; Johnny’s eyes glued to her as he entered the room. She smoothed her dress, offering a polite smile, as he placed a hand on her elbow and leaned over to whisper into her ear.  
  
“You got plans after this?”  
  
“Yeah, I’m going to spend all my winnings online.”  
  
~*~  
  
Her almond shaped eyes peeked over her hand, a simple question to her challenger, “You sure you want to do that?”  
  
“Yeah, I’m calling your bluff.” Fearless, Johnny tossed a few more chips, “I know you.”  
  
Kristina shook her head, tossing chips in, “Not well enough, John, not nearly well enough.”  
  
The table had watched the two locked in a game of chicken, neither willing to back down, with amusement; Ethan felt something else entirely, as though he were observing their foreplay, another intimate moment he should’ve and would’ve avoided given the chance.  
  
Johnny feigned sympathy, revealing his cards and beginning to reach for the chips, “Full house.”  
  
Letting out a low hiss which captured the attention of the table, she placed her cards over the chips, “Doesn’t beat a royal, straight flush.”  
  
While the table shared a laugh regarding Johnny’s defeat, Kristina’s eyes remained locked on her opponents, full of fire and certainty.  
  
Ethan could only hope it was strictly for the win, not because she planned to continue the conversation with Johnny at night’s end.  
  
~*~  
  
Johnny waited to be alone with her before braving the distance, sliding his hands along her hips and pulling her close, “Why don’t you let me take you home?”  
  
“No way, baller.” Kristina pulled his hands off of her, playfully pushing him away, “You’ll expect a second chance at winning your money back, and I’m done with cards for tonight.”  
  
It took a split second for Johnny’s mood to change, for his demeanor to darken, “You sure it’s you avoiding payback and not trying to get more wins?”  
  
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”  
  
“You know exactly what I mean. You. Ethan. Alone.”  
  
“Oh God!” Kristina began to undo her earrings, shoving them into her clutch as she snapped, “Get over this obsession you have about some high school crush I had on Ethan already!”  
  
“I know how you play, Kristina. If that show tonight wasn’t for me, it was for him.”  
  
She crossed her arms across her chest, spitting back, “Go screw yourself, John.”  
  
“Just admit that you want Ethan, simple con-artist Ethan.”  
  
“Your best friend! Or did you forget that feature?” Kristina threw her hands up to stop him before he could protest, “I am not the whore you seem to believe I still am. I know my past, what I’ve done and what it’s cost. My life, my debts. While you want to live in that past, I want to live beyond it. Frankly, it’s none of your business what that means or who it’s with.”  
  
“Yeah,” Johnny’s voice was a husky whisper as he gave a firm nod, “you’ve made that clear.”  
  
“Is everything all right?”  
  
Ethan’s timing was impeccable for amplifying Johnny’s painful realizations, especially as he was heading out the door to live Kristina alone to her ‘life’.  
  
“Johnny, wait.” Kristina’s words were a little late as their argument fueled his flee from the room, not even a goodbye to his buddy; she balled her hands into fists, letting out an anxious scream and grabbing her things, “This was great, Ethan, but I gotta go.”  
  
“Wait a second, wait a second, what happened?” The moment he stepped in front of her, his gentle touch on her biceps and sincere stare instantly broke down so many walls she labored to keep intact, “Talk to me.”  
  
Kristina drew in a deep breath, hanging her head in shame, “I have a talent for driving away decent, considerate people. It’s a gift.”  
  
“You can’t drive anyone away, unless they’re looking for a release, Kristina.”  
  
His words had the ability to immediately show forgiveness, alleviate her aching shame. She braved another look into his eyes, blushing as his hand caressed her cheek, “You gotta stop making excuses for my bitchy ways, Ethan.”  
  
“I’m pretty good at though, aren’t I?”  
  
“Very good.”  
  
The two of them shared a hearty laugh; Ethan’s fingers to continue to stroke her skin until her delicate hand had curled around his wrist. For a split second, their thoughts were connected; both wondered if they had noticed the other’s stare all night, the looks towards things they should have, and the nervous laughs which were meant to will lustful thoughts aside.  
  
Unable to shake it off, Kristina pulled his hand around her and accepted his greedy kiss; the two giving into a thousand urges they weren’t allowed to have and couldn’t give into.


	15. Chapter 15

Kristina couldn’t remember the last time she been so caught up in someone; she could feel everything, every sound between them echoing in her ears.  
  
She made mentally notes of the monumental steps: his lips drifting from hers and finding other spaces to occupy along her anxious yet warm skin; the zipper being pulled down her back and his hands sliding in to caress her spine; her breath caught in her throat as his hand ventured between her thighs for the first time.  
  
Propped up on a card table, she moaned with approval as his teeth nipped at the nape of her neck; she could have given in, happily surrendered, until they both heard, “Oh sh—, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”  
  
Kristina’s shock caused her to gasp for an entirely new reason as shirtless Ethan maneuvered himself to shield her frame, “Luke!” She cringed at his call, blushing with the embarrassment of a teenager though that time had come and gone, “Your timing—could not be any worse.”  
  
“Obviously, I’m disappearing. Continue with,” Luke waved it off, bumping a wall as he tried to cover his eyes and find the old office at the same time, “whatever that…yeah…”  
  
Kristina shriveled against Ethan, her breathing even but her skin pink, “Oh my god…”  
  
“It’s okay. He’s gone.” Ethan stopped shielding her, brushing her hair back and forcing her to look up and into his eyes, “This is my fault.”  
  
“No, it’s…” Kristina cleared her throat, noting the way his eyes were memorizing her curves, and pulled her dress back to its appropriate stations, “this…it was horrible timing. Like everything else between us, ever.”  
  
“Come on,” Ethan let out a sharp laugh, zipping her dress after her gesture, and lingered his fingertips along her biceps, “would it be that terrible if it happened?”  
  
“Of course not,” Kristina caught his eyes with a look over her shoulder, “I’ve wanted…this. But—there are other factors here that…” Her half-ass explanation was cut short as her phone rang through the air to her delighted relief. Kristina passed him, sighing into her phone, “Hello?”  
  
“Kristina! You have to get to General Hospital now!”  
  
“What?”  
  
Ethan stepped into her view, pulling his shirt on and mouthing, _What’s wrong?_  
  
“It’s Michael. He’s been shot.”  
  
~*~  
  
Kristina did not register anyone’s greetings; instead, she allowed Ethan to guide her through the E.R.’s waiting area. Her own thoughts had muffled Carly’s panicked yelling, caused her to avoid Molly as she comforted Morgan, and steady herself between the wall and Ethan.  
  
Selfishly, Kristina could not help but think of how happy she was just two hours ago, only to have this send her crashing to the hard, unforgiving pavement. This was her pattern – happiness brought on more unimaginable pain…pain which felt like her fault.  
  
When the doctors informed them that no one would see Michael before he went in for emergency surgery, Kristina could no longer hear brutal honesty with herself – forced to check in.  
  
As her mother moved to touch her shoulder, she could no longer pretend to be appropriate and put as much distance as she possibly could between herself and the chaos.  
  
Ignoring calls after her, Kristina snatched the heels off her feet and allowed her bare feet to race up flights of stairs; with each corner she turned, her hand yanked harder on the railing to send herself to the very top; the night air slapped her as she busted through the door onto the roof.  
  
With the air came the realization, her family was hurt. Michael was her closet ally and biggest support system; it was inconceivable that she would lose him.  
  
_“Johnny, I’ve never asked you for any favors. I don’t even want to know what you had to do with Sonny’s death. But I am asking you to stay away from my brothers. We didn’t pick who our father was going to be, and you should understand that just as much as my love for them.”  
  
“Michael’s a hot head.”  
  
“So was Claudia. Did you love her any less?”_  
  
Kristina paused, her eyes immersed with a tidal wave of tears, as she recalled her conversation with Johnny upon returning to town.  
  
_“We’re not discussing my sister.”  
  
“No, but we are discussing a bond. A very serious bond between family. Understand my position?”  
  
There was a long pause between them.  
  
“I can’t make any promises.”_  
  
“Kristina?”  
  
She faced him, charged with fury true to her family heritage, and attacked before the words could appear; tossing her heels at him one at a time, she began to use all the might of her slender frame to push him and scream, “You did this didn’t you! You hurt Michael even after I asked—BEGGED you to leave him alone!”  
  
Johnny did not fight her but tried to grab at her wrists and get her to stop, “No.”  
  
“I can’t believe I trusted YOU!”  
  
“Kristina!” Ethan’s voice was a request and command all at once, his arms coming around her waist and pulling her back like a bungee cord, “Your family isn’t far.” His voice, a soft whisper, appeared in her ear and forced her to slightly crumble in his arms, letting out a small moan, “You can’t lose it right now. Michael needs you.”  
  
“He did need me! He needed me to avoid this son of a bitch!”  
  
Johnny stepped out of the corner she had put him into, sympathy and apology brewing in his eyes which never left hers, “I have an idea of who did this. I do. But it wasn’t me. I told you I would try to keep him out of trouble, but Michael—”  
  
“You’re a liar!” Kristina tried to push on Ethan’s arms locked around her waist, “You would say anything to avoid prison or another bullet!”  
  
“I told you everything. Confessed my truth and offered more when it came to your father. Michael? I didn’t do this! And you’re in danger too because of him!”  
  
“What are you talking about?” Ethan’s concern was evident as his hold tightened around her, his husky voice warning Johnny to divulge the information without coming a step closer, “Something you want to tell us?”  
  
“Some associates of mine are not pleased with what’s unfolded since Sonny’s death, specifically how I chose to deal with the Michael situation. They want some more push for Corinthos territory, and I tried to hold them back. They aren’t any less interested in hurting Corinthos’ organization, and I came here – knowing this is what I might get – because I wanted to make sure Kristina,” Johnny stopped short, returning his attention to her and softening his tone, “YOU were all right. Safe. Protected.”  
  
“I got it covered, mate.”  
  
Ethan’s quick proclamation had drawn a line between the friends who were more like brothers; Kristina could almost see its visibility as she followed Johnny’s glare to Ethan’s over her shoulder.  
  
~*~  
  
_“The surgery went well. It’s going to make some work, but Michael’s going to recover.”_  
  
She continued to breathe deeply, eyes fixated on the purple lit cross in the small E.R. chapel; somewhere a prayer was being mentally made but her lips could not formulate it, too ashamed to ask or thank any higher power for cleaning up her mess.  
  
“Here.”  
  
Kristina lifted her heavy head to see Ethan extending a hot cup of caffeine, a small grin behind the offering; she accepted it, allowing her fingers to somewhat caress his before making a painful inquiry, “Please, tell me I didn’t start a war up on that roof.”  
  
“Johnny’s good with all of this. He’ll find a way to navigate through the debris.”  
  
“I meant between him and you.”  
  
Kristina knew the answer without Ethan’s confirmation, especially as he tried to make an uncomfortable expression; taking a seat beside her on the chapel’s pew, Ethan stared at his own cup and avoided her expectant eyes.  
  
“This is why I should never have come back to Port Charles.”  
  
“Kristina…”  
  
“No, it’s true.”  
  
“No,” Ethan reached over, placing his hand on her knee and awaiting her gaze, “I didn’t know how much I needed you to come back, but…I did.”  
  
“You’re an idiot.” Kristina could not help but grin, feeling the rivers begin to rush down her cheeks, “I’ll wreck you worse than Johnny.”  
  
“…maybe that’s what I’m counting on.”  
  
Ethan revealed his own crooked smile, implying he understood the trouble he was signing up for; Kristina was fully prepared to scare him off, until he reached up to touch her face and dissolved all of her fight; leaning forward, his lips took a gentle hold of hers.  
  
She submitted despite the knowledge that things would only get worse; Johnny would never give up that easily, on either of them.

_ **The End** _


End file.
